Oscar Party!

A had her annual oscar party this Sunday. Even though I had only seen 8 of the nominated films, it was still a lot of fun. Here are some pictures:


Dr. Zaius looking embarrassed in his hobo hat







The awesome cake I made nate







Sorry, no pictures of me because my hair seems to be trying to reach john mayer-like proportions.


A few gripes about the awards show:
What was with the dresses? Bows are never fashionable. They are ugly and stupid. Don't wear them. EVER.

Every other shot was of Jack Nicholson. If I never see his gross bald head again, it will be too soon. He looked like a cancer patient. I wish he would've done something funny, like pick his nose or something. That would've at least been entertaining.

Al Gore. As an environmentalist, I'm glad he's doing something for the movement, but shut the hell up. You are not the only person trying to make a difference. That "my fellow americans" joke ceased to be funny the first time you said it. Unless you are going to say "I'm being seer-ee-ous!" a la south park, I don't care.

On the other hand, I was glad to see Martin Scorsese finally get an oscar. Score!

A vignette from my life.

This entry will be a random cornucopia of things.

1)I bought the new Shins album. Looooove it! If anyone wants a listen come on over! Or I can rip you a copy. Or you can just ride in my car since it has been in heavy rotation ever since I got it. It also came with a very cool sticker. Neato!

2)I am super stoked to see the Prestige. Blockbuster sent me an email this morning that it is on its way. I really liked the Illusionist, and my friends have told me that the Prestige is like, infinity times better. I dig magic, so I'm excited. Not the cheesy my cane just turned into a bunch of cheap nylon cotton blend flowers, more like the stuff that David Blaine used to do. Also, two words as to why I will enjoy this movie. Christian Bale. Mmmm!

3)Went with my friend to a doctors appointment the other day, then to eat dinner, and pick up her prescription. Hilarity ensued.

When writing the prescription, the doc ominously told her that she needed to be near a toilet, or if possible, take it while on the toilet because she might not make it. So we dropped off the prescription and went to dinner, completely forgetting all about it. Afterwards, we returned to the pharmacy via the drive through. The pharmacist came back with a rather large package, roughly as big as an economy sized tampon box. It was wrapped in a plastic bag which I guess was for privacy, but the text on the side could clearly be seen. It said "Bowel Prep Kit". My poor friend was horribly embarrassed, and me, being the bad friend that I am began promptly laughing my ass off.

Me: "I feel like I know you so much better now. So glad I could share in this excruciatingly embarrassing moment with you."

Friend: "shut up, bitch!" *Blushes madly*

Me: "Hey! this comes in three delicious new flavors! cherry, lemon, and orange! I would pick the cherry personally. "

20 something Pharmacy guy: "So...Uh...do you have any questions about this?" *looks away uncomfortably*

Friend: "No!" *peels out*

Heeheehee. That story will get retold over an over again. Now, whenever she starts teasing me or being a smart ass, I'll be like "Bowel Prep Kit!" and she will be stunned into silence.

Ahh. The joys of friendship.

4)It was recently noted that the local billy bar whiskey dick's is now closed. The owner, in efforts to purge his bar of its previous unsavory reputation is moving to a new location on main street, which currently remains unnamed.

Some of my ideas for a new name:
Amaretto Titties
Captain Cameltoe
Tequila Testicles

Just a thought.

5) I put a bunch of new photos on flickr. If they seem really unorganized, it's because I can't figure out how to change the dates to put them in order. Mostly, I just don't feel like messing with it anymore. I've got some pictures of artwork I did in college, and animals at the wildlife rehabilitation center I volunteer at. I've put a link in my sidebar. Enjoy!

There's a fuck ton of snow outside.

And I had to work this morning. It was awesome to say the least. At 6:30 a.m, my boss called to inform me that our county was at a level three snow emergency. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this system, it means that roads are closed to all non essential personnel, and anyone found driving is subject to citation or arrest.

For most, this means a snow day. No work or school, just hanging at the homestead without a care in the world. This is not the case for me. I must strap on the snowshoes, don my furry hat, and suck it up. Because according to agency policy, if we find ourselves due to work during a level three, we must call the police department for transportation. Lovely.

So we call the boys in blue. And you know what they said? It was okay for us to drive to work. We had special permission. We were told to try to get to work on our own, and if that wasn't possible, then we should call for their services because they had other far more important things to attend to.

Now maybe it's selfish of me, but I was pissed. Attending to what? No one is driving. Every place is closed, so no one is out except for the guys with the snow plows. And a few strange looking vagrants. But they're always around. Personally, I think they just didn't want to deal with any of it. And to be fair, who would? But it's your fucking job. I didn't want to go to work this morning, but I'm here. Thanks for serving and protecting me, assholes. Anyone who lives in the college ghetto portion of town knows that nothing get plowed over here. Especially apartment building parking lots. Because what are a bunch of college kids gonna do? Bitch to their parents and their friends? Or like me, write an entire tirade about it on their blog, which 4.5 people read?

So I go to start my car. A snow drift half my size has collected in fr0nt of the apartment building door, and I have to wade through that first to even get to it. Fortunately, I'm parked in a spot that hasn't amassed very much snow, so I'm good there. I survey the parking lot. It comes to my attention that not only are there huge drifts blocking both entrances of the lot, but that I am also poorly prepared. The initial plan to use kitty litter under my tires has been foiled, because of course as fate would have it, I'm all out.

Within minutes of trying to leave, I'm stuck. Armed with only the kitty litter scoop to help me. The time is 7:30. I am supposed to be at work in 30 minutes. Cursing, I try digging out the snow around my tires with the scoop. This is much like trying to shovel with a spoon. After about 5 minutes of this, and much kicking of snow, I throw in the towel and wake eddie up. He's very pleased about this. A half hour later, after much pushing and swearing, I am finally out of the lot.

The rest of my trip to work was uneventful. Thankfully the person who worked before me had the brains to shovel the sidewalks and drive, so I had no issues with getting stuck again. I'm hoping that by the time I get off work, the lot at our apartment has been plowed, or I will be very angry. Maybe even angry enough to post about it again, lucky you! I took a few pictures, but I'll have to wait until I get home to load them onto my computer.

Does this look normal to you?

:::While walking through the parking lot I heard this conversation:

man #1: Oh hey! What are you guys doing here?

man #2: Well, she's got a rash. (man #2 angles his head toward a young girl standing to his left) We took her to the doctor, so we're just here picking up her prescription.

How embarrassing. And on top of it all, dad was a loud talker.

:::You're all probably wondering about my last post. A friend of mine called me on Thursday:

friend: I was wondering if you could do me a favor. It's kind of weird though.

C.E: Oh it's cool. What do you need?

friend: Can you go to the store and see if you can find any massengil feminine wash? I used to be able to get it at the store there. None of the stores around here carry it, I've looked everywhere! If you find any, buy as many bottles as you can and I'll pay you back.

C.E: Dude, the cashier is totally going to think I have a problem down there.

Roaming the aisles of the store, I thought about how to handle the uncomfortable situation that loomed in my future. Should I be funny in an attempt to alleviate the awkwardness? Avoid eye contact and make a mad dash for the door, shamefully clutching my bag of feminine product? I didn't end up getting the opportunity to find out. Apparently the product I sought had been discontinued. My friend was greatly disappointed. Strangely, I was too.

:::For those interested, I have started a flickr account. So check it out if you'd like. There's not too much content on there right now, I'll try to post more at a later date.

My Own Mastercard Commercial

White Bucket: $2.25
Third Season of Mr. Show: $24.00
4 Containers of Massengil Feminine Wash $16.00

The look on Cashier's face: Priceless.