Peoples Republic of Julia: January 2007

List-o-rama

Inspired by this, I've made a couple of my own.

My ex-roomate was so ghetto...

1) "I know that movie is yours….I was going to bring it back if you noticed it was gone after I moved."
2) "Oh sorry. I let my boyfriend eat the last of your hotpockets when he came over last night."
3) "Silly, why would I buy my own shampoo when I can just use yours?"
4) "I’d give you money for bills, except I spent all of it on pot and beer. Hit me up next payday."
5) "Hey, check it out! I stole this crack rock out of my friend’s mom’s purse. Wanna smoke it?"
6) "You know that new chair you just bought? I totally had sex with my boyfriend on it."
7) "That stain on your sweatshirt I borrowed? Yeah, I tried washing it, and it won’t come out. Oh well. Sucks for you!"
8) "Since my boyfriend is in jail, he has to call collect to talk to me. That’s why the phone bill is $300."
9) "Guess what? I got fired today because I stole a chicken sandwich."
10) "Like the new stereo I got for Christmas? My mom gave it to me. It’s hot*."
* as in stolen, not Paris Hilton.

Things My Mom Said to Me During My Teenage Years

1) "I prayed for him to break up with you."
2) "You went to the movies with him alone? Why don’t you just have sex with him, you slut!"
3) "Pink Floyd! I know what they stand for…Drugs!"
4) "She was dressed like the strange woman of Babylon."
5) "You pierced your navel? Oh, I am so ashamed!"

Wow, that's like four years of my life wrapped up into two minutes worth of reading. I do want to note that my mother has mellowed over the years, but occasionally she does wax religious on my ass. But it makes life interesting, you know? And probably explains a lot about why I am such a weirdo. I should write a book. Nah, I'm too lazy.

A spectacle to behold

I finally got new glasses this week, after wearing the same pair for about five years. They are basically the same shape, but in a gun metal hue and not plastic. My attempts at looking more "grown up" I suppose.

Upon first wearing them, I noticed a strange occurrence. I felt smarter. Silly, but true. Funny how a few ounces of metal and glass made me feel instantly more intelligent. I guess this phenomenon is the underlying basis of all those style network makeover shows. Wear whatever makes you feel sexier, and your attitude will follow suit.

I am sad though, because while I've been told that these glasses make me look "older", and "more my age", I kind of miss the plastic ones. They just seemed to suit me more. I have a funny feeling that next year will find me returning to the Lisa Loeb look of old. Or perhaps I'll try a monocle, a la the always distinguished Mr. Peanut. But in the meantime, I guess I will just have to look like a librarian.

Night at the Rock Show.

Winter and I went to go see our friend's band play last night at Grumpy Dave's Pub. The atmosphere there is pretty cool, it's not as seedy as some of the other bars in town. More of a place to chill and listen to music, as opposed to the typical barfly scene. One of the best things about the place is you can actually use the toilet and not feel dirty afterwards. A huge plus where I'm concerned. Because I spend way too much time thinking about bathrooms.

The guy at the door made me laugh because he looked like 80's child star Jonathan Brandis after too many drugs and a trip to hot topic. Awww. Poor Bastian.

Anyways, the show was great. Beverages were consumed, and innapropriate jokes made. Woot!

Oh and here's your daily dose of bathroom graffiti:

"Ride the boner rollercoaster!"

13 secrets

1) I'm afraid of mirrors in the dark.

2) When I was five, I took ballet for a year and absolutely loved it.

3) I lived in Germany for three years and attended kindergarten and first grade there.

4) When I find a hair in my food at a restaurant, I'll pick it out and eat the food around it because I don't want to bother anyone.

5) I often wish I was more creative and outgoing.

6) At 25, I still think farts are funny.

7) There are times that I wonder if there is a parallel universe where I had an alternate destiny.

8) Sometimes I feel like I'm psychic.

9) I have a tattoo.

10) I have never watched scarface or the godfather.

11) There are times that I worry I will end up being just like my mother and it makes me scared to have kids.

12) Every time I watch The Fox and the Hound, I cry even though it is a cartoon.

13) I'm an in the closet emo kid.

"Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

my buddy and me

Sorry it's been awhile since I've posted. Not too much has been going on, so I just haven't had anything to blog about. This afternoon I bought a really awesome hat with a gift card my mother gave me for Christmas, so I spent the whole day wearing it. You know the episode of Spongebob where he spends all afternoon playing with a scrap of paper? It was alot of like that. So in homage to Mark, here's my photo montage of all my hat wearing fun!

Eating in my hat