I went to visit my dad a couple weeks ago, and I was pretty excited because he agreed to give me a traditional Korean dress that my mom left at the house when they split up.

Let me just start by saying that this dress is gorgeous. It’s made of red and white silk and has beautiful white peacocks embroidered on it with gold accents. I always loved it as a kid. He warned me on the phone that it was looking a little worse for the wear, because my mom never got a garment bag for it and it had been moved to the top of the closet. Imagine my horror when I found out that not only does it smell like mildew, but has also sustained some pretty extensive water damage.

I’m both bewildered and frustrated by this. Here is this beautiful dress, and my mom just left it there. Not only left it, but apparently didn’t even care enough to try and preserve it in any way. And it’s not just the dress. It’s everything. Photo albums, letters, pieces of her life. Never came back for any of it. It’s so mystifying to me.

And infuriating.

All of my life, I’ve always been missing a half of my family. My mother moved to the states with my dad before I was born, and her family cared so little that only one of her brothers came to the airport to see her off. Years went by without any kind of contact or news. Then when I was in junior high, my mom began writing her aunt in California. This went on for about a year, until one day my mom stopped writing. When I asked why, she said, “I don’t really like writing letters. I’d much rather call on the telephone.”

And that was it. The last tie to her family. Gone. And she didn’t even seem to care.

I’ve always resented her for it. I’ve never told her so, but it makes me angry. It also doesn't help that she's raking my dad over the coals with the whole divorce thing.

So yeah, the dress reminded me of all of this. I’m going to take it to the drycleaners next week, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to fix it. Such a shame. I’m hoping for the best, but will expect the worst, that way I’m not too disappointed.

=(