Chinese Voodoo

The setting: an average run of the mill video store located in the center of a strip mall. Two employees stand behind the counter, looking extremely bored. A loop tape plays a preview for spy kids 2 and advertises various popcorn and soda rental packages. Adjacent to the video store is a small buffet style chinese restaurant. The parking lot is empty with the exception of a couple of cars and a lonely shopping cart that has found its way over from a nearby grocery store. Two chinese gentlemen enter the video store. They are the proprieters of the fine dining establishment next door. They browse the movies available and bring their choices to the front counter.

Clerk: Hello. may I see your id please?

The man looks confused. He shakes his head.

Clerk: I can't rent to you without your id sir.

The second man says something to the first man in Chinese. Understanding dawns on his face and he produces his identification. The clerk types in his information.

Clerk: Just so you know there is a five dollar late fee on your account. You will have to pay this in order to rent these movies.

Again, the man looks confused. Fee? He shakes his head no and pushes the dvds toward the clerk to indicate that he would like to rent said movies.

Clerk: I'm sorry sir. You have to first pay the fee, then I can rent you these movies.

The two men begin to converse back and forth in chinese. As the conversation progresses, they begin to talk faster and faster, the decibels increasing with each passing moment. The clerks observe with amusement/apprehension. The man at the counter becomes visibly angry and yells at the clerk in broken english and stalks away.

Clerk #2: That was interesting. I wonder if he'll be back?

A week goes by. The man doesn't come back. The same two clerks are working again. Their manager stops in to rent some movies.

Manager: Hey, just so you know, the other day when I was working the owner of the restaurant next door called. He said that he's tired of us throwing our trash into their dumpster. They don't have enough room to throw out their trash. He said that if we don't stop, he's going to call the owner of our store and complain to them about it. So make sure you are throwing out the trash into the correct dumpster. Ok?

(Now I just would like to take a moment to explain why there was confusion about the dumpsters. For some unknown reason, the dumpster for the restaurant was directly behind the back door of the video store. Our dumpster was further down by the next door. How silly of us to think that the dumpster directly behind our door was ours. We're so stupid. )

Upon hearing this, Clerk #2 gets an uncomfortable "oops" look on her face.

Manager: What's wrong?

Clerk #2: Wellll.... when I opened this morning... I took out the trash. I put it in the dumpster behind the back door. Sorry! I didn't know it was the wrong one.

Clerk #1: They probably won't notice anyway.

Manager: Yeah, I'm sure it'll be okay. Just make sure you put it in the right one from now on.

The next morning the manager opens the store. She boots up the computers and turns on the t.v. sets. She picks up the trash in the back room and goes out the back door. She makes sure she throws the bags into the correct dumpster. She turns to go back inside.

Manager: What the hell?

On the knob of the door is a wire coat hanger. Hanging from it are three fish heads, eyes wide and unblinking. The manager looks around and sees no one. Everything is silent.