Toilets, Vaginas, and Hair, Oh my!

So last night I was at a friend’s house when I had to use the restroom. Being that it was bachelor pad to four men, I was somewhat wary of using the facilities. After about a half hour of trying to convince my bladder that it didn’t really need to be emptied, I finally accepted my fate and asked where the bathroom was.

Let me start by saying that this bathroom was one of the most horrific things I have ever seen.

The seat was up, so I used a piece of toilet paper to put it down. A ring of crust had formed inside the bowl. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always scrub my toilet bowl on a regular basis so on occasion residue builds up. But this looked caked on and it was probably two inches wide. The floor, the sink, and the top of the toilet were all covered in hair and dust fuzz. I noticed that someone had spilled liquid hand soap on the floor and had just left it there. It looked like a hairy orange monster.

Now, I don’t consider myself an extreme girly girl or anything, but when I go to the restroom, I need some atmosphere. Some candles, little scented soaps, a nice soft rug, and maybe even some shells in a basket. If a bathroom doesn’t have these sorts of things, I start thinking about what goes on there, and then I become very disturbed. So you see, I need the distractions. If I am busy smelling the soaps, I’m not going to think about the grossness.

But I digress. I set about the daunting task of hovering over the bowl. I did not want my vagina within a foot of that toilet’s surface. Call it paranoia, but I did not want anything to be able to make the leap from that toilet seat to my goodies. See, guys have it easy. All they have to do is aim for the giant hole, and the offending toilet is nowhere near their kibbles and bits. Afterwards, I flushed with my shoe, washed my hands, and opened the door again with my sleeve. Hooray! Mission Accomplished!

So guys, if you want your girl to be comfortable in your bathroom, at least put a candle in there. I guarantee that she will appreciate it.


I also found some really interesting links while doing an image search for dirty toilets on google:

Improv Everywhere is an improv group based in New York City. Click here to see one of them posing as a Mcdonald's bathroom attendant. (it is hilarious!)

Ever wonder where every single public loo in Australia is? Check out the National Public Toilet Map of Australia