An Actual Lunch Conversation

#1: Dude, if you fart in space, does it push you forward?

#4: I suppose, it’s just basic propulsion.

#3: But are you in a suit? Because if you are, it would be contained and you would remain motionless.

#1: No dude, you’re totally in a shuttle.

#2: Are you in deep space? As opposed to low Earth orbit?

#1: I’m talking about zero gravity dude.

#2: Well, I suppose if you farted with enough force it would most likely spin you in a circle.

#1 and #2 begin to make farting noises with their mouths. #3 rolls her eyes, while #4 and #5 laugh like immature high school kids.

#1: The intensity of the fart would affect distance traveled. For instance, a really big fart would propel you farther than a smaller one. Dude, your ass could be like a jet pack if you could get a series of farts going!

#2: Yeah, and if you wanted to stop you could burp.

#4: This is the nerdiest conversation ever.