Peoples Republic of Julia

Where do I go from here?

2010-02-03T23:05:00.005-05:00

I was listening to NPR this afternoon, and they had a really cool story on the radio about six word memoirs.

What would your six word memoir be?

2010-01-25T21:05:00.002-05:00

Hey Everyone! Wow, it's gotten a bit dusty in here. How have you all been? You all look fabulous! ;P

I don't really have much to talk about at the moment, but one of my goals this year is to cook more. I have a cute new apron, and I'm going to try making a few recipes from my Joy of Cooking cookbook.

Oh and I want to have an official tea party. With cups and saucers, scones, and tea sandwiches.

It will be awesome.

I recently found a recipe for ham and bean soup that is simple to make and super tasty so I thought I'd share:

Chop and dice a medium sized onion. Saute it in 1 TBSP olive oil in a large pot. Add 1 1/2 tsp italian seasoning and cook til fragrant (about 1 minute). Add the following ingredients:

2 large carrots diced
1/2 a cabbage cored and cut into bit size shreds
12 ounces of diced ham
1 quart chicken broth
1 can of diced tomatoes (14.5 ounces)
2 cans of white northern beans undrained
2 TBSP parsley

Simmer for 15 minutes and serve.
(this can also be easily made in a crockpot)

Happy eating!

2009-09-24T20:08:00.007-04:00

My 10 year high school reunion is coming up. Gah! I was looking to see if I had any pictures for the slideshow, and I realized that I didn't really socialize much in high school. I am also finding that everyone I remember from back then seems like a caricature of themselves, because my memories are so hazy. Despite all the time spent in school, how much did we really know ourselves or even each other? I'm a totally different person now than I was then, and I am wondering if that's the case for everyone else?

Last week I experienced one of the truly most rewarding moments at work I've had in a long time. I was helping someone put together a resume because she wants to do volunteer work with children. After it was all finished, she said "I am so proud of this! I guess I never realized all the things that I've done in my life." She was positively glowing! I was blown away by how such a small thing could mean so much to someone else.

My friend and I went to go see the Flaming Lips in Columbus last week, and it was AWESOME! Their stage presence is incredible, and the music is so infectious! Everyone there was super nice and the whole vibe was really fun. People were wearing quirky homemade outfits and animal costumes, there were tons of balloons and confetti, lasers, and the band genuinely seemed to enjoy what they do. I love how one reviewer describes it: "It's like your birthday, christmas, and halloween all rolled into one". Indeed.

Yay for Labor Day!

2009-09-04T22:43:00.005-04:00

Huzzah! Three day weekend! Scooter's in the shop, so hopefully it will be up and running soon. *fingers crossed* Now I just have to go get my motorcyle learning permit, so I can ride my hog all over town! 80 miles to the gallon, woot! :D

*Addendum*
Scooter is fixed! New wiring, a replaced gasket, and a new spark plug later, it runs! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

2009-08-24T22:24:00.003-04:00

So.....I haven't updated in 2 months! Holy crap. I can totally understand if nobody even checks this blog anymore other than Becky. LoL.

::::I finally bought a scooter. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get it to start. I suspect the problem is something simple, but being unfamiliar with the mechanics of scooters, and the fact that all the parts are Chinese, we've been unable to figure out what exactly is wrong. We've contacted tech support several times, but all they do is say helpful things like: "The fuel is not getting to your carburetor, buddy." Well no shit Sherlock. I'm planning on taking it to get serviced at a scooter shop nearby, and hopefully it's something simple like faulty wiring or a blocked fuel line.

::::My dad got remarried a couple of weeks ago, and I had mixed feelings about it. To be honest his woman didn't really make such a great impression on me when I first met her, and my family wasn't all that impressed with her either. But my dad seems genuinely happy, and in the end, that's all that really matters. It was certainly an interesting event with jello shots, cornhole, and homemade moonshine concoctions.

I often feel like I don't have much in common with my dad's side of the family, because I'm the only college graduate and have way different interests and tastes than they do. But it ended up being a lot of fun, and I'm going to try and spend more time with them. I've kind of lost contact since I left for college, and everyone made sure to mention how they never see me anymore. Oh and to ask when I'll produce a progeny. *rolls eyes*

::::Eddie and I spent 4 days at a music festival at a privately owned campground, and it was a lot of fun. We met some really cool people, and it was really relaxing to unplug from our phones and computer for a few days. The guy camping next to us looked alot like Ernest Hemingway, so we referred to him as EH all week long.

EH was really nice and brought this huge harp that he played most afternoons and at dusk. It was almost as tall as our car, and EH told us it weighed between 65-70 pounds. As you can imagine, dude was ripped. He laughingly told us "I'm a slave to my instrument. I have to make sure I'm able to carry it around." He played beautiful haunting Irish songs and we would sit in our tent and listen. I can't even begin to tell you how moving it was. We really lucked out camping next to him. One night he invited Eddie to come over and play didgeridoo along with him. It was pretty sweet.

In addition to music, there were events that you could participate in. My favorite one by far was the candle labyrinth. They lined up candles into a maze, and you walked through in quiet contemplation. This isn't an actual photo of the one we walked, but here's a picture to give you an idea of what it looks like:

Very Cool.

::::Our county fair took place recently, and I had never gone until this year. My coworker and I took some of the clients from work, and I got my hand stamped so I could go later in the evening with eddie. We got this fabulous idea that we would get inebriated and walk through all the animal barns for fun. Everything was pretty amusing until we got to the pork barn.

Apparently we had timed our arrival with feeding time, and the pigs were beginning to get riled up and start squealing. And not just passive grunting noises, I mean full out bellowing. So we are walking through this barn, and this cacophony of horrible ear piercing squeals begins. And I'll tell you this; nothing is scarier than hearing the simultaneous shrieking of 30 hungry pigs rising in a deafening crescendo. I couldn't help but grab eddie fearfully and yell "It's like being in hell!" Then we ran out of the barn like a couple of fools. It was pretty funny afterwards, but I couldn't help thinking about bricktop in snatch and all his talk about feeding bodies to his pigs. *shudder*

Well that sums up most of what's happened while I've been away. Now it's off to bed. Goodnight!

good news, typewriters, scooter love, and america fuck yeah!

2009-06-24T12:16:00.009-04:00

::::My mom's fiance went to see a specialist last week, and he has been given a clean bill of health! Apparently the docs at Toledo over reacted and while he did suffer a pretty severe concussion, he should be okay in another 6 months! Apparently the aneurysms are not life threatening as the other doc had supposed, so as long as he doesn't fall down again, his brain will heal and he'll be able to go back to work when his family doc gives the okay. Huzzah!

::::I went to a rummage sale the other day and bought this totally sweet vintage smith corona typewriter for $5.

Isn't it the cutest?? I love the brown and green color scheme!

::::The clients decorated our front window at work with a patriotic/4th of July theme. It looks like Uncle Sam ate too many freedom fries after a raucous party and threw up some liberty all over our window. LuLz.

::::I have been pining over the cutest scooter for the last couple of months. It's a 2008 motofino 50QT2. It gets 110 miles to the gallon! Plus it looks kind of vintage which I like, and it's mint green! It's listed for $1500, but I'm hoping to get it for $1300. We'll see what happens.

In summary....

2009-06-01T11:58:00.027-04:00

My last 3-4 weeks:

1)My mom's fiance fell and hit his head in their basement, resulting in him being life flighted to St. V's for bleeding in his brain. After a scan, the doctor also discovered aneurysms in his carotid artery on the right and left sides of his brain. So the wedding is postponed, there's going to be a major and highly dangerous surgery, and my mom's a basketcase.
2)One of our clients died unexpectedly.

3)My boss resigned, and there's absolutely no transition plan despite the fact everyone in upper management has known it was coming for months now. Result? A complete clusterfuck situation at work.
4)I went on vacation. Strange meats and copious amounts of booze were consumed, I finally got to go to an Ikea, and experienced all the charms of southern hospitality and culture, North Carolina style.

I had planned on writing a much longer post, but a few days went by and I lost my fervor. So here's some pictures instead:

Bubba's-The epitome of fine Carolinian dining!

Riding the pig at Bubba's!

We also ate at cookout where you can have a hamburger, shake, corndog, and bacon wrap all as one meal:

It's in biblebelt land, but the views were breathtaking.

Speaking of being in the BibleBelt, here's a great sign:

The End!

A writing exercise; per mark's request.

2009-05-20T15:11:00.006-04:00

Mark asked me to post one of my writer's group exercises aeons ago, and I have finally gotten around to it. So.....enjoy!

What was the first CD (or record or cassette) you ever purchased? Write about the way that particular album made you feel then. Write about how it makes you feel now.

Bible Grand Slam Deluxe

2009-04-15T21:51:00.008-04:00

::::Last friday we had an early easter brunch where I work. We did an easter egg hunt for the clients which was pretty cool. My coworkers and I were stuffing the plastic eggs with candy Thursday night, and they were giving me shit because I was only putting one piece of candy in each of my eggs while they were putting in three or four. Apparently it would be quite the travesty if people opened up their eggs to discover a lone chunk of chocolate inside.

Then I got a bright idea. Why not put veggies inside the eggs? Can you imagine if they opened them up and saw two baby carrots inside? They would shit a brick! It would be Awesome! It would be the greatest late April fools day joke ever! Unfortunately my boss didn't think my idea was as great as I did. :(

After filling all the eggs, it was time to hide them. My boss put all of hers in really obvious places, but C and I thought that they should have to work for it, so we put them in the most ridiculous places we could think of. Watching the clients search for the eggs was a trip. They were getting mad because they couldn't find any. It was great. After a while we started giving them hints. Apparently we forgot some, because we found a couple of the leftover ones this week.

::::Speaking of work, we've been doing some serious spring cleaning and the other day I found this gem:

Bible Grand Slam Deluxe
Ages: 7 and up
No. of Players: 1

Description:
Sharpen your Bible batting skills with this exciting game of fun Bible learning in a cyber baseball park that's fun for the whole family. The questions are ranked with the single questions being the easiest and the home run questions being the most difficult. Includes special "Teacher Feature" - add your own questions for customized "lesson" play.

Operating System: Windows

http://www.christiangames.co.za/

I think it's hilarious. I can't wait to go home and play it!

LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!

2009-04-02T20:53:00.007-04:00

This will only be funny if you watched battlestar galactica:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_depressed_distant_since?utm_source=a-section

***ADDENDUM***
Do not read this link if you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica, there are spoilers! Sorry Mark! :(

Obama told aides he feels "like a cylon without a Resurrection Ship."

A boring post about my mom getting married.

2009-03-23T17:08:00.007-04:00

Don't you hate it when life gets in the way of blogging? Maybe I need to get my priorities straight. :P

My mom is getting married in June, and she is driving me absolutely INSANE! Last week she called me five times to ask numerous questions about flowers, dresses, and cake. Apparently being married makes me an expert, and she wants to get my opinion on every single detail.

I told her that by the time it happens, she will be ready for it to be over. Take the easy way out and elope! LoL.

What's neat is that my mom is going to wear my wedding dress. At first I thought it was weird, but it's sort of like a reverse heirloom thing.

Here's what I've come to realize. Weddings are great in theory, but a pain in practice.

So good it had to be shared

2009-03-05T10:40:00.004-05:00

John Keats Eats His Porridge

It was hot enough to blister
The red paint of his mouth.
But if he let it lie there, glistening,
then clipped segments from the circumference,
it slid down like a soggy bobsleigh.

Grey as November, united as the kingdom,
but the longer he stared into that dish of porridge
the more clearly he traced
under the molten sugar
the outline of each flake of oatmeal.

When milk made its slow blue-tinted leap from jug to bowl
the porridge became an island.
John's spoon vibrated in his hand.
The island became a planet.
He made continents, he made seas.

This is strange porridge.
Eat it all up.

By Adrian Mitchell

2009-03-03T23:42:00.000-05:00

Today was a dark day.

Five people were laid off where I work, two of which I considered to be really good friends.

Things are scary right now. I worry that in July I might not have a job anymore. I’ve been told that my department is safe until then, but next fiscal year all bets are off.

Poopy.

Hello!

2009-01-16T11:21:00.004-05:00

Holy crap! I haven't blogged in over a month and it's not for lack of things to talk about, I assure you. The holidays were very very busy, I went to five family christmas events, my mom got engaged, and eddie got a promotion.

All good things at least! :)

New years was interesting. I went to Cleveland to hang out with A and some of her friends. One of them brought a guy named Rico. Okay. I'm going to pause for a second. When you imagine what a guy named Rico looks like, what do you think of? This guy was ridiculous. He wore 2 strings of rosary beads, a sideways ball cap, and was like 4 foot tall. And he was a total douche.

So yeah. I rang in the new year with a guy named Rico. Sounds like the punchline to a terrible joke doesn't it?

It became even more interesting at about 1 am when a bunch of lovecraftesque weirdo's came to our table and asked for rides home.

Apparently A had found out about the party through a local "online meetup" group, and this was the first time she had ever seen any of them in RL.

The guy who organized it and his friend looked normal enough, but there were a couple other people that I would definitely think twice about riding in a car with. I had to try really hard not to laugh when N whispered to me that the squat crushed velvet clad woman at his elbow "smelled like an old grape." Luckily a tall blonde arrived shortly after and ushered them away into a big unmarked white van in the parking lot.

Maybe it's the line of work I'm in, but the van, the corncupia of weirdos, and the authoratative blonde stranger made it seem as though they had come from some local adult group home for an outing and their "handler" had come to collect them.

I'm going to hell.

There hasn't really been too much else going on around here lately, it's been far too cold to do anything. Today it's a very chilly -11 degrees Farenheit. It's supposed to break this weekend, which will be a much welcome change. I've spent the last few days reading and watching the british series "spaced." This afternoon I'm going to watch the last two episodes of battlestar galactica, so when I watch the new one tonight I'll know what's going on. Then I'm going to lounge around in my pajamas.

It's good to be back.

2008-11-22T22:24:00.005-05:00

Thursday, I went to the dentist and got a tooth fragment removed.

It was not fun.

They did a local anesthetic and pulled it while I was awake.

He said he was just going to push my gums aside, and lift the tooth right out. Easy peasy right?

Oh I wish.

He had to drill the tooth, use a chisel to break it in half, then pulled it out with a pair of pliers. It.was.horrible. Nothing sounds scarier than hearing the sounds of your own tooth breaking.

Luckily I had lots of pain killers and ice cream to console me.

I'm feeling way better now and have gotten tons of sleep in the last couple of days which has been awesome.

In other news, the rats are doing great and we decided to name them Luna and Aiko. They are still kind of hyper because they're young, but they are gradually getting used to us and are in training to be snuggly shoulder rats. I think I am going to buy them a plastic ball to run around the house in and work off their excess energy.

Well, that's all I have for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

2008-11-03T19:48:00.002-05:00

So the last couple weeks have found me ridiculously busy, and I am so glad that it's finally over. On Saturday, Eddie and I went with a couple of our friends to go see Joe Biden speak on campus. When we got there, we were asked if we'd like to sit in the bleachers behind him during his speech and we figured why not?

So yeah, I was totally on national television this weekend! Needless to say, I'm feeling very special and important right now.

Of course, all the footage I've managed to find has me perfectly cropped out. But it was alot of fun, and I actually got to stand within feet of the hopefully future vice president for a couple of minutes, so whatever. The people we were standing with were totally hilarious. Comments of "He breathed the same air as me!" and "I'm so aroused right now" followed his triumphant exit. LoL.

After the rally, we went to a clue mystery dinner party that my boss was throwing. We got to dress up in snazzy outfits, drink too much wine, and smoke too many cigarettes. Fun stuff.

Today I decided to go to the courthouse and vote early since tomorrow I'm working a double shift, and I didn't want to risk the chance of not getting to vote.

I waited for two and a half hours! About halfway through I realized that I'd left my id in my car, so I had to go get it. Luckily by that point, everyone was pretty familiar with who'd they'd been standing by, so no one gave me a hard time when I came back. I tell you what, doing your civic duty requires some serious sacrifice. Sacrifice that needed to be immediately rewarded with booze and food.

So now I'm just relaxing, recovering from waiting so long to vote. Next time I won't wait till the last minute!

2008-10-31T20:34:00.004-04:00

Happy Halloween!

May your evening be filled with ghouls and goodies and a good time had by all!

It's been a long day, and I am looking forward to getting my drink on!

Eddie and I had to attend an all staff training today, filled with "team building exercises" and lectures about respect and good communication. It was horribly boring and lame. Afterwards we went to a halloween party for some of the clients, and dressed up as sonny and cher.

Personally, I think I look pretty good in a handlebar mustache.

2008-10-16T12:22:00.001-04:00

Going camping for the next four days.

Got the rats, they are great.

Updates and pix soonish!

Grrrrr.....

2008-10-12T16:45:00.002-04:00

My mother just called to tell me that she has been kicked out of her church.

Apparently they don't approve of her "living in sin" with her boyfriend as an unmarried woman.

Nevermind the fact that she has been attending since 1992 and has been heavily involved in all of their activities.
Nevermind that she just got divorced in February and is the happiest she's ever been for probably the last 15 years.

A bunch of old biddies with dried up vaginas don't like it, so she gets the boot.

I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

I thought these people were her friends.

Apparently none of them had the balls to speak to her in person, so they've been going to the pastor in hordes; literally crying about how she's living in sin and that they are concerned and don't feel comfortable with it.

Parents have threatened to pull their children from her sunday school class because they don't want their darling angels to be "exposed" to her lifestyle.

The pastor told her to choose the church or choose "living in sin". Obviously she chose the latter. She is completely distraught.

I told her that they are all hypocrites, and that this is exactly the opposite of what jesus would do. A church is just a symbol, and she doesn't need to go there to find god. God is wherever you want he/she/it to be. These people were never her friends, and they are all miserable malcontent bastards.

I'm glad her boyfriend was there with her, because he told the pastor exactly what I would have: to fuck right off.

I should throw my mom a "dirty sinner" party.

2008-09-27T11:09:00.002-04:00

I'm going to see the Black Keys October 9th! Woot! It will be at an outdoor amphitheater sitting on a blanket underneath the stars! Totally awesome!!!!

It's my friend's birthday this weekend, so I am going to Cleveland for dinner and some drunken bowling. I was thinking about wearing a dress, but beer+dress+bowling balls may make for some pretty interesting scenarios that I won't care to remember the next day. We'll see.

Picking up the rats next weekend! :) We still are stuck on names. Eddie and I have done some brainstorming, but haven't picked anything yet. Any ideas on good female rat names? Maybe I will call mine Mrs. Brisby after the mouse from secret of NIMH. I used to love that movie when I was a kid.

The other day I was on Yahoo news when I read this article. Breast milk ice cream? Gross.

Updatage!

2008-08-31T15:33:00.013-04:00

Work is going very well. I really like my new job, and am enjoying my new responsibilities. Today I found out that I will be heading the writer's group every Friday, and think it's going to be a lot of fun. That being said, does anyone have any suggestions for online resources or books to use? Thanks!

I went to the dentist the other day, and told him that I'd noticed that there seemed to still be a fragment in the bottom right side of my mouth where my wisdom tooth had been pulled last year. He took an x-ray and sure enough, there it was. So now I get to go back to the oral surgeon and explain that they made a mistake and didn't get all of it out. I've been putting it off because I'm afraid they are going to try and make me pay for it, which I have no intention of doing. ugg.

On a more positive note, I finally am getting two new rats! We won't get them until the 20th because they need to be weaned first, but here's some pictures:

Aren't they just the absolute cuteness???

One of my friends asked me a very interesting question yesterday, so I am going to pose it to all of you. If aliens came to Earth and asked for a book to read that would explain the human condition, what would you pick and why?

ch-ch-changes!

2008-08-11T08:04:00.007-04:00

About three weeks ago I applied for a different job at the agency I work at. The interview was the following week, and a couple days later I was offered the job. I'm very excited because not only did I get a raise, I will get every holiday off and most weekends. I have been meaning to update for a while now, but I just haven't had the time! I start training tomorrow, and I'm a little nervous just because it's new and unfamiliar, but I know a couple of my coworkers at the new site and I think it's going to be a lot of fun. Now I just need to buy some clothes because my current wardrobe is mostly t-shirts and jeans and I have very few "business casual" items. So a new job, a raise, and new clothes! Hooray!

Eddie and I went to the Cleveland Zoo yesterday with his mom, and we kept quoting lines from this monty python sketch where they are hunting mosquitoes. The opening lines makes me LOL every time.

The zoo was pretty top notch. They have this exhibit called Touch, and for $1 you can touch a stingray or a shark. It's an enclosed pool with about 10 rays and two small sharks and you put your hand in the water, and they glide right under it. It was by far one of the neatest things I have ever experienced! The rays feel kind of rubbery, but they are surprisingly soft at the same time. For another dollar you could feed them shrimp, and it feels like a vacuum cleaner running over your hand. Super cool!

I got a couple of really great pictures of the polar bears and a black bear, but the best one is an action shot I got of one of the tigers yawning:

And a shot of some amateur protology going on in one of the monkey enclosures:

Hey, I never said this was a classy blog! :)

Speaking of changes, I pulled six white hairs out of my head this morning. SIX! Wtf?! I'm too young to be getting gray hairs already! *sigh*

I've been away too long and there's so much to tell you...

2008-07-14T22:59:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone! Sorry to have gone so long between updates but I have been a seriously busy busy bee lately! Between social engagements, family, and work much has happened to blog about but I just haven't had the time.

Hmm. Where to start?

::::C and J came to visit from Indiana a couple weeks ago. Inappropriate restaurant conversations about bodily functions, public drunkenness, and random acts of karaoke ensued. After much prodding and many beers, C convinced me to release my inner rock star and we sang "I love rock and roll". It was fun, but I think I will leave the singing to the professionals.

::::The weekend of the fourth of July, A had her annual summer barbeque. She decided to call it BeardBQ in honor of a copiously bearded gentlemen we had seen a couple of weeks earlier at Aladdins. We had originally planned on wearing fake beards, but it didn't quite end up happening. Along the way eddie ended up shaving his armpits and putting the hair in a sandwich bag, we trimmed cat nails, listened to 80's anthems, and ended up at a gay bar. Don't ask.

::::My parents divorce became finalized in February, and now both parental units are entering the dating world after many years away. Both have managed to score new significant others at roughly the same time and it is a bit overwhelming with all the desired meet and greets, and trying not to mention one parent to the other. I figured it would happen eventually, but it's still a bit weird.

::::I was at work the other day waiting to assist someone with meds. They came to the door with their jeans hanging halfway off their ass. (Nothing like a bit of buttcrack to greet me at 7 in the morning!) I noticed that the pants fell just as low in the front as in the back. That's when I saw pubes. PUBES! And not just a little bit. It looked like he was growing a beard down there. Can you say traumatized?

::::Oh and I'm turning 27 in an hour and 1 minute. Here's to a good year!

2008-06-26T09:54:00.005-04:00

Went on vacation for six days, and it was fantastic! Did a lot of sleeping, eating, and reading. We had originally planned on going to Hocking Hills and staying in a cabin for a few days, but the weather seemed suspect, so we hung out in Columbus with Eddie's mom and aunt instead and had a great time.

Some highlights:

****Going to a Japanese steakhouse where they cook your food in front of you and do cool stuff like throw and light things on fire. Kickass.

****Checking out the German Village. The houses are beautiful, and it's just an interesting area in general. We went to this bookstore called "The Book Loft" which is a pre civil war building converted bookstore and it is a 32 room maze of bargain books. Amazing.

****Going to some local thrift stores where we found everything from stethescopes to felt pictures of JFK. I managed to find a copy of "Brave New World" for only $1. Score!

****Having a tumble on my rollerblades at the park and bleeding profusely from a quarter sized scrape on my right knee.

(Just for the record, Eddie and I went up a bridge overlooking the expressway which is far too steep for rollerblades. I wasn't going to go at first but Eddie egged me on, so to show I wasn't chicken, I went. Everything was fine until I tried to come back down, sped up to an uncontrollable speed, and found myself suddenly lying on the ground. The scrape looked far worse than it felt, and since it refused to stop bleeding down my leg in a scary manner, I was forced to improvise. So I took my right sock off and tied it around the cut to apply pressure and keep it from bleeding. Eddie's poor mother about had a fit when she saw the whole thing, and seemed to thing I would die from my grievous wound. But I think I took it like a champ, and skated all the way back to the restrooms at the front of the park. That's when I found out that the restrooms are closed Monday to Friday after 3:30 pm and not even open on the weekends! What the hell? Who ever heard of a part time restroom?)

Ugg. Sorry for that run along paragraph. It hurts the eyes a bit, and I wouldn't blame you if you have decided to skip it.

That pretty much sums up the last 6 days. It was fun, and I wish I didn't have to go back to work. :(

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We went and saw the "Get Smart" movie, and it was hilarious! Apparently Mel Brooks was a consultant for the film, so maybe that's why. All I have to say is that it far exceeded my expectations and I highly recommend it!

A compliment. Kind of.

2008-06-19T10:05:00.003-04:00

I was sitting in the office at work the other day chatting with a couple of the clients when I took my glasses off to clean them. Then one of clients says:

"You know, if you didn't wear glasses you'd be really pretty."

LoL!! I love our clients. There's no brain to mouth filter at all, and it's kind of funny. I know I've mentioned this before, and I'll mention it again. How is it that a pair of glasses makes that big of a difference? Everytime I wear contacts, people act like I look totally different. Maybe there is some truth to that whole Clark Kent/superman glasses bit after all.

In other news, I think my car hates me. In the past 4 months, I have had to get about $1000 worth of work done to it. Mostly routine maintenance stuff, but it's been one thing after another. My car just hit 40,000 miles, and it started making a creaky noise over bumps practically the next day. I took it in for 2 different inspections at separate locations, and no one found anything. Finally the third time around they figured out it was the front struts. Once I had that taken care of, I figured everything was finally fixed and I wouldn't have to worry about anything for awhile. Then three days ago, my rear view mirror fell off! grrr! The car is only 4 years old, and I've only had it for 3. Parts should not be falling off at this point.

So I bought a glue kit, and I'm going to fix it today sometime. I just have to make sure I don't glue it on upside down! :)

The cat's in the cradle. Operation mail father's day cards is officially a success!

2008-06-13T09:17:00.003-04:00

::::I am a total slacker when it comes to sending cards on time by mail. If you get your card a day after it's due, you should consider yourself lucky! Hopefully my dad gets his card tomorrow and not on Monday. oops! :S

::::I was at the library yesterday when I saw a poster for bowling green's upcoming terquasquicentennial celebration. Who has ever heard of such a term? I mean centennial, bicentennial, these are familiar, but this I had never heard of. A quick perusal of wikipedia enlightened me. I'm just going to start making up my own terminology for different anniversaries. Tonight, I plan on having a Bananasplitennial celebration at the local Dairy Queen to celebrate the invention of the banana split by Dr. Stephen Split M.D. in the year 1985.

::::Eddie and I rode our bikes to a friend's house yesterday, and I decided to wear a dress. I know, I know. Not the smartest idea right? To prevent any unplanned "flashing" of passersby, I wore a pair of gym shorts underneath. They weren't bulky or anything, so no one could tell, but Eddie gave me the hardest time about it. I thought it was ingenius, because I wouldn't have to constantly worry about it. Plus I tend to sit like a guy, and probably would've flashed my underwear at some point. Am I alone in thinking this is a great idea? Surely other women have done this other than me!

::::There's a new samsung phone called the glyde. Are we so hard up for cell phone model names that we now have to name and spell them like a lubricant?

Well, that's all I've got for now. Have a great weekend everybody!

A seinfeld moment

2008-06-06T09:42:00.005-04:00

Yesterday Eddie and I went to an "attendance requested" (i.e. mandatory) meeting for work, and it was boring as hell. Eddie was pleased because he was getting paid for an additional 2 hours of work for sitting on his ass, and there was free soda. (What can I say? He is easily amused.)

My main gripe with the meeting was that we were given the impression that the talk was going to be about the Columbine shootings, and their affects on the local mental health agencies in the Denver area.

It wasn't.

It was a "budget cuts are pending, but don't freak out because sometimes good things can come out of these sort of shitful circumstances!" type of meeting.

In my opinion, doing this is much like a church advertising something like "free pizza party open to the public!" then locking you in afterwards to be proselytized. It is not cool at all.

Halfway through the meeting, we took a break and everyone went to the restroom, smoked, bitched about the meeting etc. When Eddie came back from the bathroom, he had a total OMG look on his face.

"Holy crap dude! I have to tell you something!"
"What?"
"I went to the bathroom, and Dr. _________ was coming out of the stall. And he didn't wash his hands!"
"eww! gross!"

We had to spend the rest of the meeting trying not to laugh/be grossed out as we were sitting directly behind him. What do you do when the CEO of your agency does something like that? And it was hard not to be painfully aware of everything and everyone he was touching. I teased Eddie that this was his Seinfeld moment, and that he'd better watch out because the good doctor might try to shake his hand later. Luckily that never happened. What sucks is that I know that every time I see the man in the future, I am going to think of how hot and muggy it was yesterday and that he doesn't wash his hands after peeing.

Don't mind me, I'm in the middle of a soliloquy

2008-06-03T15:21:00.003-04:00

Ever feel like you are on the cusp of something amazing, and all you have to do is jump? Plunging blindly into something that is unfamiliar, scary, and exciting all at the same time?

I'm having one of those moments.

I know that I need to leave this town, but it's daunting to say the least. There are so many variables and I have to fight the urge to be a complete control freak about every little detail. In my desire to get all my ducks in a row, I've passed up opportunities in the past, and I am trying to keep my fears in check and just go with the flow.

It's kind of exhilarating. An adventure!

Here's your word of the day

2008-05-30T09:48:00.004-04:00

I was checking out the found magazine website, and this was the find of the day:

I always wondered what the technical term for those was.

naptime nirvana

2008-05-16T10:12:00.003-04:00

So I bought a $5 eco pillow yesterday. It's filled with a fiberfill blend made of recycled plastic bottles. It felt soft enough, but I wasn't sure how much I'd like it.

Used it last night, and I must say I haven't slept that soundly in a long time. I am totally buying another one today after I get off work or else eddie and I will be fighting over who gets to use it tonight!

What's funny about it is the fact that we just got some new $20 ralph lauren pillows for christmas, and they don't even compare! Who knew that a $5 pillow would be so much better than a $20 one? Even better, it has a 3 year warranty. So if it gets all lumpy, you can send it in for a replacement!

I am totally sold. Just wanted to share.

Well that was interesting

2008-05-14T08:02:00.005-04:00

So yesterday was pretty ordinary. Went to work, took a bike ride, watched little britain, and ate dinner. Eddie was passed out on the couch, so I decided to take a bath. About halfway through, eddie rushed into bathroom looking pretty freaked out.

"We have to leave right now!"
"right now?"
"Yes, right now!"
"Why?"
"There's a policeman outside, and he says there's a problem with our neighbor across the hall. We have to evacuate the building immediately."
"shit!"

I hurriedly threw my clothes on (jeans on wet skin, lame!) and grabbed my cell phone, purse, and a book. I still had conditioner in my hair. We had to exit through our sliding glass door because the front door "wasn't safe". When we got outside, the cop waved us over and told us not to come back for an hour and a half, and not to drive north past the front of the building. That's when we noticed that he had a gun in his right hand. Yikes!

We took refuge at a friend's house, and lamented the fact that we'd forgotten our police band scanner. At 9:30 pm, it had been an hour and a half, but we weren't sure if the "situation" had been resolved. Luckily our friend knows some people in the records department at the police station, and a quick call let us know that it was not yet safe to return.

At 10:30, the records guy called back to let us know that everything was okay, and we could go back home. Apparently, one of our neighbors had barricaded himself in his apartment and threatened to shoot himself. There had been a standoff for 2 hours, but fortunately he finally came out and was taken to the hospital.

Wow.

2008-05-02T18:33:00.003-04:00

Someone vomited outside the back door of my apartment complex. Not in the grass or the big plastic bucket just to the left of the door for cigarette butts. Nope. Right in front of the fucking door.

Oh yeah. It's orange. With bits of ramen noodle, carrots, and corn.

I didn't think it was possible for ramen to be even more disgusting than it already is.

I was wrong.

*Addendum*
It rained this afternoon and now the birds are eating it.

2008-05-02T11:05:00.002-04:00

This is neat. I think I'm going to try it.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11466948

Now if I could just find someone to send me random themed mix tapes, I'd be in heaven! :)

2008-04-28T19:37:00.002-04:00

Has it really been almost a month since I last updated? Heh.

Not too much has been going on here. This morning I got to see five squirrels attached to each other at the tail at Nature's Nursery. The vet said he had never seen anything like it. Unfortunately I didn't get to take any pictures of them, but if I get a chance to, I will definitely post it. Not sure what will happen to them, if they will be separated, or left as they are. Seems like they wouldn't last long in the wild attached together, although five angry squirrels would be a lot scarier than just one.

Eddie, Becky, and I went to the local art walk the other day, and it was okay. It was mostly amateur stuff, some of which was good, and some which wasn't so good. There was this weird woman that kept trying to push her "fairy inspired" artwork on us, which in theory sounded cool, but there was nothing fairy-like about her work. It was mostly sloppy misshapen clay with some feathers and string attached to it. While I fully encourage people to exercise their artistic side, don't try to harass me into buying your stuff if I'm clearly not into it. We were mostly interested in the rare opportunity to take a tour of the local Masonic Temple, but missed the cut off time by 20 minutes. It didn't help that one of the photographers at the photo shop next door asked us if we'd gotten a chance to check it out, followed by the comment, "It's a total freak show up there!" Definitely will have to check it out next year.

One of the most exciting parts of the art walk was checking out the library's book sale, where Eddie and I found an entire table of L. Ron Hubbard books, still encased in the original plastic. Being that they were only a dollar apiece, we couldn't resist the opportunity to buy one as a gag gift for one of our friends. I'm really interested in seeing what scientology has to say about the history of man. LoL.

Becky tagged me in a meme so I'm going to post mine here, and not bother to tag anyone. Here goes:

1. Pick up nearest book
2. Open to page 123
3. Find 5th sentence
4. Post next 3 sentences
5. Tag 5 people

A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin:

Wolves, he knew. His little cousins, chasing down some prey. Now the prince could see more of them, shadows on fleet grey paws.

Love is a Mix Tape; Life and Loss, One Song At a Time by Rob Sheffield:

The first song was "Sittin' on a Fence," an acoustic ballad with Mick and Keith singing about how stupid people are for falling in love and settling down. I was amazed at how soothing their voices were, two brash and pretty young mod boys, harmonizing so confidently about how people who stay together are suckers, and laughing at them. And they're right--what could be scarier, stupider, than staying together?

And just for fun, Scientology A History of Man Antediluvian Technology by L. Ron Hubbard:

The preclear will, if very low-toned, try this on the auditor. Any low-toned person will do it. The preclear may have many degraders he has done.

????????

A Rat Update

2008-03-31T19:50:00.002-04:00

I've done some research and found that if I get a rat from a breeder, it will be healthier and could live almost twice as long as opposed to a rat from the pet store. So we've decided to get one from a local breeder, but we are going to have to wait because there aren't any available right now. I've been informed that the breeder is going to put two breeding pairs together tonight. (giggitty giggitty gigg....) So he's going to email us when some are available. In the meantime, you can check out his website:

http://www.raffinhouse.com/index1.htm

Thwarted!

2008-03-22T15:51:00.001-04:00

I blew a fucking tire 25 miles away from home.

Figures.

2008-03-21T21:50:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I don't know if it's the weather or stress, but I have been feeling tired a lot lately. I think it's all the snow. It makes me want to hibernate. I haven't been on the internet too much, because I got sucked into reading The Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin, and usually end up spending a couple hours curled up with a book most evenings until I drift off to sleep. Living!

This weekend is going to be a lot of fun. Eddie and I are leaving at the crack of dawn to drive 4 1/2 hours to Bloomington, Indiana to spend the weekend with some friends. They moved away at the end of the summer last year, just as we were starting to really hit it off. (Isn't that how it always ends up? You meet a cool person, and right when your starting to get to be pretty good friends, they up and move away!) It will be nice to get away, a kind of mini vacation if you will. I think it's exactly what we need, to give us a pick me up and to get away from all the freaking snow! It's officially spring now so it seriously needs to stop. I need a little sunshine!

It has come to my attention that easter is approaching. Had you guys noticed? Maybe it is all the easter baskets that are almost as tall as me. Apparently we are becoming giants and require 5 foot easter baskets now. What a waste.

Well, I hope everyone has a great weekend, whether you celebrate easter or not. Goodnight!

Resuming Transmission

2008-03-12T16:04:00.004-04:00

Sorry for the long bout of silence that's been going on around here. To be honest I just haven't been in the mood to blog. In case you are all wondering, I didn't get either of the jobs mentioned in my previous post. So for a couple of days I felt like one of those people from the chemistry.com commercials. With a big red REJECTED stamp on my forehead.

Of course I am over it now. No harm done save a bruising to my ego. I am considering calling the HR department for one of the sites I applied at, because I would really like to know why I wasn't selected. I felt that both of my interviews went rather well, and if I did or said something wrong then I'd like to correct it in future instances. Would that be rude? I've been trying to figure out what exactly to say, since they told me that my resume would stay on file for a year, and I don't want to ruin any chances of getting in at a later date. Suggestions?

On a sillier note, I had a total "this must be what it feels like to be homeless" moment in my apartment complex parking lot yesterday. While leaving to go for a walk, I noticed that there was what appeared to be a black hat lying in the parking lot. As I got closer, I realized it was a pair of underwear. Upon even closer inspection, I discovered that they were mine! I quickly scooped them up and took them inside, much to eddie's embarrassment. He pointed out to me that I had just picked up a pair of strange underwear from a parking lot in broad daylight where all of our neighbors could see. In actuality, I had a perfectly good explanation. The previous evening I had gone to the laundrymat, and apparently a pair of underwear had fallen out of my basket on the way inside. But being that none of my neighbors were privy to this information, they probably thought it was pretty gross. LoL.

Well, that's all I have for now. Check out this awesome youtube clip of a dog trying to eat the air coming out of a pressurized hose. It kills me!

Updatage

2008-02-24T17:52:00.007-05:00

Hmm? Where to start? Friday morning I was driving to work in the snow and went around a curve too fast, causing my car to slide and hit the front right tire on the curb. Other than some scratches along the hubcap and rim, everything appeared to be fine. Just to be safe, I took the car to tireman for an inspection to make sure the suspension and alignment were okay.

Three hours later, I got an estimate of the damage. Two of my tire rods were bent, I needed a new rim, tire, and bearing, 4 shims, and a 4 wheel alignment. The cost? 800 dollars! Needless to say, I was stunned. Apparently it doesn't take much to throw everything out of whack, as I was only going about 20 miles an hour. The mechanic also informed me that since the pontiac sunfire was a model that had been discontinued, the hubcap would need to be factory ordered and would cost 110 dollars in addition to the 800 already estimated. Pretty fucking weak.

A couple of people advised me to get another estimate as it seemed kind of steep, but my car was in no shape to be moved anywhere, so I gave it the go ahead. I got it back on Monday, and everything is now running smoothly. A costly mistake I won't be making again, that's for sure!

Tuesday I had my face to face interview and I am pleased to tell you that it went very well! I think I did far better in person than over the phone because I had visual cues to help me determine how I was doing. I should know what they've decided within the next 7-10 business days.

Tomorrow I have an interview for an Education Assistant position I applied for last week. I am hoping that it goes well, as it is something that is actually related to what I went to school for, and for once (gasp!) I am actually qualified! :)

2008-02-17T15:58:00.002-05:00

Hello my lovelies!

I am very excited to tell you that I have a phone interview today!!!!! I am very nervous, but luckily I know someone that already works at the agency I'm trying to get into, and have been gathering interview tips from friends and coworkers. To be honest I have never officially had a "real" interview, as every place I've worked at has either hired me on the spot or been very casual in their interview process. If I do well, the next step will be to do a face to face session with four people. Eeek!

Rancor, the pimp.

2008-02-04T15:21:00.001-05:00

The other day I was bored, so I proceeded to take a bunch of silly pictures with the idea that I'd string them together to tell a story. So here it is. Enjoy.

J: Rancor! What are you doing here?

R: Well…I need to tell you something….I just don’t want
you to be mad….

J: Just tell me! You know you are the only rancor monster
for me! Kisses!

R: I’m sleeping with Claudia.

J: What!?!?!?! That hussy? She’ll share her
bacon strip with anyone!

R: JUST KIDDING!
J: LOLZ!! That is sooo funny!

R: But seriously, I have the clap.

2008-01-31T23:08:00.000-05:00

Ack!! I've spent the last week and a half working on my resume, looking for/applying for jobs, stressing about work, and trying to get used to my new schedule.

Searching for jobs online has got to be one of the top most annoying things EVER. Within 30 minutes, I want to cry/pull all my hair out. It's so depressing. If I ever want to a dose of deflated self worth, that's the quickest. I spend hours scouring the listings, then when I finally do find something that might work, I am nowhere near qualified. I'm just going to start applying for everything. What's the worst that can happen? It's not like I'm not used to getting the "sorry, we've hired someone else" emails by this point. I gotta love my friend Pantera Dave's career advice: "Just lie your ass off." He makes more than I do, and does way less. So apparently it works.

I have applied for a part time job as a relationship manager at a recruitment outsourcing place in findlay. It's mostly data entry and phone interview type stuff which I've never done before, but I think I'll be able to handle it. Plus, it pays really well and I would get to make my own schedule. I figure if I manage to land it, I'll be able to pay off the last of my credit card debt and maybe start chipping away at my sizeable student loans. Freedom from financial slavery! Huzzah!

Work has been stressing me out alot the last few days. I will not say much except that I am very tired of all the backstabbing and dishonesty that goes on with particular members of upper management. In addition, they have switched our hours so I now report to work at 7am as opposed to 8am. Words cannot describe how much this upsets me. It has been in effect for a few weeks now, but I am still not completely used to it. I hate the fact that I start to get tired at 9 sometimes 8pm. I'm like an old person now. Boo.

Wow. This post is both terribly boring and bitchy. Much apologies. I need sleep.

2008-01-17T23:02:00.000-05:00

So how's 2008 treating you guys so far?

::::Not too much of note has been going on lately. I went to see Juno last week and really enjoyed it. Great script, great cast, great music! I highly recommend it.

::::I've decided that since I don't like making new years resolutions, I am just going to set some goals for myself of things I'd like to try/do this year.

-Get my palm read
-Make homemade sushi
-Sew a dress............and actually wear it! :)
-Get a new tattoo of my own design
-Take a painting class

Speaking of doing new things, check out this blog where the author does something she's never done before every day of the year. Neat!

::::I'm making one of my coworkers an indie/alternative music mix tape. He only listens to stuff on the radio, and when he told me what kind of music he likes, I wanted to cry. I am super excited at the prospect of making the mother of all mix tapes, but there's so much to choose from I don't even know where to start. Maybe I will make a series of them. Any suggestions for possible track options?

::::Speaking of music, I just bought a few new songs from itunes, and I couldn't be more pleased. I bought two tracks off the amelie soundtrack (unfortunately that was all that was available), and find them absolutely delightful. I love playing them will driving around the county roads and pretending I am in the french countryside. I also bought:

"Say Yes" Elliot Smith
"Your Ex-Lover is Dead" Stars
"You Remind Me of Home" Andrew Kenny & Ben Gibbard

The thing I love about itunes is that it suggests other things you may like based on your selections, and that's how I found these wicked sweet gems. Check em out!

2008-01-01T21:56:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it is already 2008. How the time flies!

I hope all of you have had a great holiday season. Me, I'm just glad to finally have some time to catch my breath. It has been very hectic around here since both sets of parents are divorced. This means 4 Christmases, which is very tiring indeed! Despite having a quite a few days off work, I feel ready for a vacation! :S

As for New Years, Eddie and I decided to stay in, drink wine and cocktails, and watch the twilight zone marathon on the sci fi channel. I was hoping they would show the shatner episode, but it did not happen.

"Gremlins! Gremlins! I'm not imagining it, he's out there! Don't look, he's not out there now. He jumps away whenever anyone might see him, except me."

Ahh. A timeless classic. And the one with the pig people. That was an awesome one too.

Well, I hope the new year finds everyone happy, healthy, and some other h word that escapes me at the moment. Cheers!

An update; not really exciting.

2007-12-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

****I bought my mom a coat for christmas the other day and I've noticed two things.

1)It has a weird chemical smell.
2)It's made in China.

Now considering these two things, would you still give the coat to your parental unit? Am I giving my mother a coat laden with lead for christmas?

****Eddie and I went to go see "The Golden Compass" Tuesday. Found it to be extremely entertaining, and especially liked the armored bears fighting each other. Go see it if you get a chance. Oh yeah, and Sam Elliot is in it too.

****Walmart is slowly killing me inside. I transport residents there to buy groceries, so I find myself going 5 days a week, sometimes up to three times a day. I seriously cannot take it anymore. It is driving me insane!

****I'm sure this has been around for awhile, but I watched it for the first time last weekend, and I can't get over how cool it is. Check it out:

Well that's all for now. Peace out!

2007-12-03T23:15:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been hanging out with friends drinking a few beers, when someone shares an intimate detail about themselves that just makes you want to cry?

I was with some coworkers a couple weeks ago, and we were talking about a wide variety of topics. Movies, music, religion, education, family, the supernatural, etc. etc. At some point in the evening, someone asked if we believed in magic. One person stated that they didn't believe anything was magic, while another said that everything is magic.

Then one of my coworkers said the following:

"When I was a little kid, I believed in magic. I don't anymore and it makes me sad because I feel like I've lost something special that I can't get back."

It was one of the most tragic statements I've ever heard anyone say.

Christmas sucks balls

2007-11-20T20:12:00.000-05:00

It's not even thanksgiving yet, and already I am sick of christmas.

I am one carol away from shoving a pencil deep into my brain.

Is it just me, or does the commercialization of Christmas get worse every year? It used to be that the decorations and music didn't start until at least after thanksgiving. Now you go to the store the day after Halloween, and there's trees, countdowns, music, and decorations EVERYWHERE!

I really resent that the retail industry has taken something that is supposed to bring people together, and instead turned it into a materialistic contest to see who gets the newest gadget or most expensive toy. No wonder kids don't do anything but play video games and watch tv. That's what we teach them to do! When I was kid, I was thankful to get anything my parents gave me. Now it's "get me an xbox 360, or I will throw a tantrum." Evil satan spawn.

Christmas also has this magical way of turning everyone in the general populace into a utter asshole. Jesus would be proud.

TMI

2007-11-10T00:15:00.000-05:00

So the other afternoon at work, a resident came into the office asking to use the phone. It was a pretty standard conversation involving the scheduling of doctors appointments, meds, yadda yadda yadda. Afterwards the resident asked me if a certain staff member had informed me of what had happened to her the night before. I said no, expecting her to expound on the minutiae of the previous day.

Resident: "Last night I started bleeding out of my butt!"

C.E: *almost chokes on water* "Jesus Christ!....Sorry. You caught me off guard there."

Resident: "It's okay. I'm just worried because I have to get a colonoscopy. They're going to have to stick a camera up my butt."

C.E: "Well.....Yeah.....That Sucks." *Looks at computer. Hopes resident gets the hint that it's too early to be talking about what's coming out of who's ass right now*

Resident: "Okay, see you later. I'm gonna have a smoke."

I mean, what do you say to that? I can't say, "Oh it won't be that bad" because frankly, a stranger is going to be introducing some cold foreign object to your ass, and it's not going to be pleasant unless you like that sort of thing.

Seems that the mentally ill spend an inordinately large portion of time thinking about their asses and what comes out of them.

Just an observation.

Things that are amusing me this week....

2007-11-04T00:16:00.000-04:00

::::I just spelled Bivouac on a Scrabulous game, and can't help but feel a *small* twinge of smugness. Take that bitches! mwahaha! :P

::::Check out what I just got in the mail the other day! Isn't it awesome? I can't wait to eat a huge slab of meat off of it!

::::Exclamation Points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::::Temperatures have finally normalized a bit, so it's officially scarf weather! This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Nothings nicer than taking a crisp walk through the autumn leaves followed by a warm raspberry hot chocolate at Grounds For Thought. *sigh*

::::The word Ungulate.

::::"High and Dry" by Radiohead, "Fired" and "Rockin The Suburbs" by Ben Folds.

::::I know that Halloween was a week ago, but I finally got around to taking pictures of Eddie's shield which I painted a design on for his costume. I got flack for wearing the same thing as last year, but I put in my time to help Eddie with his, and am quite proud of the results. One of my coworkers even asked me to draw them one so they can hang it up in their house. :)

Devilish

2007-11-01T10:44:00.000-04:00

My ipod has 666 songs on it.

This amuses me.

I am a douche.

2007-10-27T23:01:00.001-04:00

Seriously.

If I could kick my own ass right now, I totally would.

About five months ago I wrote a short story about my friend dying of stomach cancer. It wasn't very long, but I felt it conveyed how I felt the last time I saw her, and I found it extremely therapeutic at the time.

I showed it to one person.

He encouraged me to share it. I resisted, because it was so intensely personal and I'll admit, I was a bit embarrassed because it's so emotional and I have a hard time sharing that with others.

I thought of it today, because October 21st marked the first year anniversary of her death, and I've been thinking about her.

I finally felt ready to share it.

But guess what?

I typed it up on the computer at work, which recently had it's hard drive completely erased.

I have no back up copies.

At the time I wrote it, I printed one copy.

It is nowhere to be found.

I want to cry.

I've scoured my emails, my floppies, flash drive, every single book I own.

It's gone.

I suspect that I may have left it in the library book I was reading at the time. A short story collection by Amy Hempel. I've decided to try and locate the copy I had checked out, and maybe just maybe it's inside the book.

There are five different copies. I am going to check out every single one.

I pray that I find it.

2007-10-22T19:02:00.000-04:00

Sorry there haven't been any updates for awhile, I've been on vacation for the last 11 days! :)

As much as I'd like to compose a post of great wit right now I am a)exhausted and b) feeling a bit like my eyes want to bleed from all the catch up blog reading I've been doing, so it will have to wait another day.

A quick summary in bullet points:

::::Becky and I got to meet Mark in RL, who is very cool, and quite the tetris player.
::::Driving to Ontario Canada and back is very flat, boring, and much like driving in wood county.
::::I have reason to believe that I've acquired a serious scrabulous habit.
::::Oh yeah, and did I mention that Mark is teh coolest? :P

Pics and links to follow soonish.

Night.

2007-10-06T21:08:00.000-04:00

I bought the coolest dinosaur hats at a halloween store today! Check them out:

I just can't get over how awesome they are! :D

Tommorrow afternoon Eddie and I are participating in the 2007 Out of the Darkness Community Walk. It's my first year doing the walk, and I am excited to be a part of it. I am walking to honor the memory of a client that committed suicide a couple of years ago. It was someone that I had worked with for awhile and was totally unexpected. Hopefully programs like this will help raise awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding suicide.

Ahhh! The internet is slowly eating me alive.

2007-10-01T18:53:00.000-04:00

::::Between facebook, myspace, the blogosphere, and wikipedia I've been doing a lot of sitting on my ass lately. I seriously have spent probably three hours on the web today. Ghastly. I feel like I need to be doing something a little more constructive with my time. So I've decided that I will be trying to learn some new skills like juggling, card tricks, or maybe even pick up my long abandoned guitar. My problem is that I start a million projects, but never finish a single one. I lose my zeal. An unfortunate character flaw I guess. Without deadlines or expectations, things just kind of fall by the wayside. I should work on that. Maybe tomorrow....

::::Why is it that childhood memories of certain things seem so incredibly awesome, then end up being totally lame when revisited as an adult? Is it that you have more life experiences to compare it to? Or do we just become old and jaded? Everything's smaller, dirtier, lackluster.

Before it was magical, now it just seems tired and forced. :(

::::You know what I hate? Girl mind games. One of my friends is being a total lame-o and being extremely passive aggressive instead of just saying what she means/what she wants. I am not a mind reader. You can drop all the hints you want, but unless you have the balls to just tell me to my face, I'm just going to go ahead and do what I want. If you aren't willing to be honest, then I am going to make you tell me. I will not pander to your bullshit and play along with your stupid little games. You are not subtle. You think you have me fooled, but truth be told, I would rather just let you believe that than point it out and have you lie about it instead.

Grrrr.

::::During my three hours on the internet today I drew this for Mark, and I'm pretty proud of it so now you get to see it too.

finally!

2007-09-25T16:45:00.001-04:00

Here's the video of me feeding a baby squirrel. I do want to note that baby squirrels look much like adult squirrels, only smaller and less angry. Enjoy! :)

Pictures are on flickr.

Yo ho me hearties!

2007-09-18T23:39:00.000-04:00

It be international talk like a pirate day! :)

http://www.savagechickens.com/

Here's some clips I found on http://www.talklikeapirate.com/:

How to talk like a pirate in German, Swedish, and Mandarin.

::::In non pirate news, I went to go see 3:10 to Yuma last night.

It was FANTASTIC! Well written, well acted, and very engaging. I'm not usually into westerns, but I really enjoyed this film, and I highly recommend it.

::::I've been fostering 6 baby squirrels for the last couple of days, and it has been interesting. They have to be bottle fed formula three times a day, so lucky me got to wake up at 8 am on my morning off to feed the little buggers. They are very cute though, so it didn't take long for me to forgive them for making me drag myself out of bed. I will upload some video and pictures when time permits!

2007-09-13T10:00:00.000-04:00

I love early morning walks. Everything is quiet, the sun is warm on your face, and you can just enjoy the crisp air and the beauty of nature surrounding you.

Until about 10 am. Then all the bros come out to get their drink on and enjoy long afternoons filled with cornhole and back to back guitar hero tournaments.

I purchased some new songs from itunes, so I am currently enjoying this playlist during my early morning/late evening walks. Some of it's a bit nostalgic, but that's what I like about it.

Spoon-Underdog
The Kooks-She moves in her own way
The Kooks-Naive
Billy Bragg and Wilco-California Stars
Wilco-Sky Blue Sky
Au Revoir Simone-Sad Song
Au Revoir Simone-Through the Backyards

Eddie and I went to see the Andy Warhol exhibit at the museum. It was pretty cool. A friend of mine commented that she found it strange that pictures of everyday household items are considered art. Personally, I like the idea of seeing art in the ordinary.

"What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coca Cola, Liz Taylor drinks Coca Cola, and just think, you can drink Coca Cola, too. A coke is a coke and no amount of money can get you a better coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the cokes are the same and all the cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it."

– The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: (From A to B and Back Again), 1975

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddling masses yearning to be free, and I will give them skinny jeans, because they're freaking starving!

2007-09-07T21:48:00.000-04:00

::::I wish there was one of these at my local library:

::::Today I went to Walmart after a light rain, and when I got outside it smelled like a foot! Gotta love the smell of commerce, armpits, and warm asphalt in the afternoon. Mmm-mmm-good!

::::Why oh why do guys insist on wearing skinny jeans? Why does anyone? It makes people look like they have chicken legs. Every once in awhile I'll see someone wearing an outfit with skinny jeans that is cute, but I don't really dig the kate moss look.

Look ma! I gots stick legs!

::::Last night winter and I went to see our friend's band play at howards, and the guys that played afterward were pretty good, despite their apparent love of the skinny jean. Their other love? The shaglet. (Shag+mullet) Add a generous helping of mutton chop sideburns, don't wash for about 3 days, and you're all set!

Don't get me wrong, I love shaggy hair on guys. But I prefer the "I just rolled out of bed, but it actually took me 20 minutes to make it look this way" style. You can still rock the messy hair, but look groomed all at the same time! (a novel concept, I know.)

I noted that most of the audience was cromprised of emo/hipster fanboys, and winter and I were some of the few in attendance to be the proud owners of a vagina. The kicker? Super drunk guy in the front who obviously needed to be cut off, but thanks to his dickhead friends was busy double fisting beers and making a complete ass of himself. He stopped a moment, puked on the floor, and began dancing like a madman without even breaking stride. Pure class.

Food for Thought?

2007-08-31T18:54:00.000-04:00

I was hanging out with my mother when she revealed this pearl of wisdom:

"Americans stink because they eat too much cheese."

I must be the stinkiest person on earth because I LOVE cheese. Good thing I wear deodorant. :)

On a complete tangent, I saw this on the Found Magazine Website, and it made my heart melt a little.

2007-08-25T18:31:00.000-04:00

Apologies for the recent lack of updatage! Work has been really nuts the last few days, and it has really tired me out! So here's a brief summary of the last week or so....In pictures!

::::Last weekend I went to Oktoberfest with some friends. It was alot of fun, and much beer and brats were consumed. The two guys in the picture below were some highschoolers we met there and they were quite the ladies men as you can see.

After Oktoberfest, we decided to hit up a local bar called Slam Jams. Sounds classy, huh? Our senses were violated with the ear bleeding sounds of hip hop and top 40 pop music. While sitting at the bar we noted that half the tv's were set to BET while the others were set to the history channel doing a black and white special on the Holocaust. The irony was apparently lost on everyone but us.

::::The other day I was in kroger when I saw these in the international foods section:

And here's some other chips I found at big lots:

Some crazy bar bathroom graffiti:

And a sign I saw at the bank:

That's all I have for now. There are other pictures on flickr, if you're bored and want to look at them.

Kids say the darnedest things

2007-08-16T22:05:00.000-04:00

A called me last night with a funny story that I just have to share.

A: "I just got off the phone with my mom. I guess E* (A's son) got in trouble tonight."

Me: "Oh really? What did he do?"

A: "Well he drew a picture of Cartman for C, and he put in a little speech bubble that said 'I'm a fat ass bitch!'"

Me: "And why did he think that this was an appropriate picture to give to C?"

A: "I asked him that, and you know what he said?

'But mom, you have a picture on your fridge that says 'I want an ass sandwich'

And I thought, Oh my god! I do!"

Me: *laughing uncontrollably* "I know exactly what picture you're talking about!"

*When he was quite a bit younger, A's son once helpfully commented to a local waitress that she'd "lost her teeth". He then kindly offered to help her find them.

2007-08-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

I'm at work and it smells like ketchup in the office. Not strongly, but I get a whiff of it every once in awhile.

I've looked everywhere. No logical reason for why I should be smelling it. Am I going crazy?

Wait, don't answer that question.

2007-08-09T16:50:00.000-04:00

One of my coworkers brought her dog into work today.

"Aw, he's cute! What's his name?"

"His name is Zach. It's short for Zacheeus, because he's a wee little man!"
*laughs like this is the cleverest thing EVER*

Lame.

A rant about the local health department.

2007-08-05T23:07:00.000-04:00

I absolutely abhor going to the county health department. Unfortunately, it is a necessary evil since I have to get a yearly TB test for work and the health department is the only place I can get this done.

It's full of poor people, babies, and small children, and anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely despise two of the above. (Poor people aren't so bad.)

I joke of course.

But seriously. Denizens of the local trailer parks with huge cross tattoos wearing dirty clothes followed by obnoxious children with runny noses that insist on touching EVERYTHING with their sticky fingers (including me), people that can't speak english, high school dropouts, it really is a collection of the county's finest.

I always schedule an appointment, so I have to spend as little time in the waiting room as possible.

Apparently it doesn't matter if you have an appointment, you still have to wait for at least 30 minutes to get seen.

Allow me to give you an example.

I scheduled an appointment. I showed up about 5 minutes early, signed in on the sheet, and filled out my paperwork. I waited. Then I waited some more. About 20 minutes had gone by, so I asked the receptionist how much longer. She said "Just a few more minutes." I sat back down. Several walk ins show up without appointments, and they got service pretty much immediately. I also note that they all have small children. Twenty minutes have gone by. I go back up to the desk. "I thought you said it wouldn't be much longer. I've been waiting 40 minutes! And I have an appointment!" The receptionist looks at me blankly, like she didn't just speak to me less than a half hour ago. "Did you sign in on the sheet?" I answer with a terse "yes". She picks up the clipboard, looks through her bifocals and says "Oh! We must've skipped you! Have a seat. We'll be with you in about five minutes."

I wanted to bash her in the head with her telephone and strangle her to death with the cord. Instead I sat back down.

The ironic thing about me having to wait so long is that a TB test takes maybe a minute, two tops to complete. I had just spent three quarters of an hour waiting for someone to inject .1 ml of fluid into my arm. It's ridiculous. Apparently my lack of child means that my time is less valuable, and can be wasted. (Which it is--wasted that is--but I'll decide when and where that happens!) I just need to find some little kid I can bribe into going with me, so I can get service faster. Or a baby. That would be even better!

"Oh are we seeing little Timmy today?"

"Nope, I just need a TB test. Couldn't get my usual sitter to watch him, she's hungover. You know how it is."

"Right this way."
*Cue the angelic chorus, I walk towards a door bathed in bright light*

At last, I'd get the service I deserve at that hell hole.

2007-08-03T09:46:00.000-04:00

Mark's talk of people wearing promotional costumes for work made me think of an old post that I've decided to repost here.

So here it is, coming to you from March 19th, 2006:

Celebrating the man in a cow suit...

Yesterday while driving to the grocery store, Eddie and I spotted a guy wearing a cow suit in front of Squeakers Vegetarian Cafe. Next to him was a sign proclaiming the event to be "The Great Meat Off". Excited at the sight of someone wearing a bovine costume in the middle of the day, we promptly rolled down our windows and gave him a vigorous thumbs up while waiting at the traffic light.

Encouraged by our behavior, he began to articulate on the healthfulness of green tea: "You see I am a cow, and that is why I am drinking this green tea with lemongrass in it. It is much healthier for you than milk."

Later in the evening, we told one of our friends about the guy in the suit. He responded with the following: "I don't know why you guys were cheering him on. You two are some milk drinking, meat eating motherfuckers."

This is true. Honestly, we were just so delighted to see a guy in a cow suit. People should do it more often. Yay for cow suits!

Get your cow on!

Follow up to the Karaoke Post

2007-08-02T09:08:00.000-04:00

Here's the video my friend shot of a particularly awful karaoke performance. Just to warn you, the camerawork is a bit dodgy because we were all quite drunk. Enjoy!

I wonder where he is now?

2007-08-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

It was oppressively hot yesterday, and it reminded me of something a former coworker once said*:

(spoken in a serious demeanor with waterboy undertones) "It's very monkey outside."

"Dude, did you just say it's very monkey outside??!!??"

"eh,eh...." shifts uncomfortably back and forth. "No, I said it's very muggy outside."

"You totally said monkey!" coworker runs off. "Barr harr harr!"

Sometime after he quit, someone at work said that they'd heard that waterboy had died. Several months later he came through the drive thru.

"Dude! I totally thought you were dead!"

"Eh...no. I work at such and such factory."

"Do you remember that time you said it was monkey outside?"

Waterboy sped off and was never seen again.

*This happened a long time ago. Events may not have transpired exactly as written, but you get the general idea.

A Quick Update

2007-07-26T17:07:00.000-04:00

The interpol show was everything I ever hoped it would be!

More later when I get home!

*******************************************

It's about midnight, so I'll make this short since I have to get up for work in the morning. The venue was outdoors, which was awesome because the weather was perfect. The crowd was really mellow and relaxed. The opening act Calla was pretty good, and Interpol was phenomenal. The sound was great and they had some really cool light effects/video clips all dispersed over six square screens placed in various locations on the stage. It couldn't have gone more perfectly. After the show was over, they played a three song encore. I would definitely go see them again if I got the chance! All in all, the best concert experience I have ever had.

Karoake....Drunk man's best friend? I think not.

2007-07-23T16:40:00.000-04:00

Eh. I've been feeling pretty exhausted as of late. Work is getting pretty hectic since everything is getting switched around and communication is apparently, optional. What? Let staff in on what is going on? Why would we do something silly like that?

I find it very annoying when the higher ups of a business choose to use the trickle down effect as a method of informing staff of changes as opposed to having an official meeting/bulletin/email/just anything at all really announcing what the hell is going on. Everything is up in the air, and maybe I'm just being a control freak, but I'd like to know what to expect in the next couple of weeks when I go to work.

Sigh.

In other news I am going to go see Interpol on Wednesday, and I am STOKED! It is going to be awesome, I can hardly wait!

Saturday evening found me attending my very first karoake night at grumpy dave's. I think I may have to go more often, because it is extremely amusing. My throat was actually sore the next day from heckling/cheering on all the terrible karoake(ers?). I've always secretly wanted to do it, but after that display I don't think it will be happening anytime soon! One guy was so drunk, he practically fell asleep on his stool while singing a song by the doobie brothers. Another person chose to do "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" which should never be in any karoake catalog in my opinion, because it's way too fast and is really just chanted anyway.

Has anyone else ever noticed that karoake songs seem to last forever? They sang verses I didn't even know existed!

2007-07-21T15:00:00.000-04:00

I need some books to read. Anyone got any suggestions?

5 interview questions

2007-07-19T15:32:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Winter for providing the questions!

1. This one’s a two parter:
A. If you could repeal one law currently in existence, what would it be?
The The Patriot Act, because it's smelly.

B. If you could create one law, what would it be?
I'm going to sound like a total fascist here, but I think that people should have to pass a test in order to be allowed to reproduce. Too many dumbasses are having litters of kids while all the smart people are having one, maybe two kids. Watch Idiocracy and you'll see what I mean. I also think that people should have to take parenting classes, since they seem to think that it's the job of teachers, babysitters, T.V and pretty much everyone else except them.

2. Money is no object; describe some standout features of your dream home.
Definitely a huge art studio. My own darkroom, and a space where I could blow glass would be absolute nirvana! I’d love to have a moon garden and a butterfly garden, with some nice water features. And one of those huge libraries like in the movies--the kind with the rolling ladders and a huge fireplace? That would be awesome.

3. If you could have any magic/psychic/super power what would it be?
Flying. Although it would have to be accompanied by invulnerability, so I wouldn’t suffocate/get burned to shit once I got too high up. It would be very freeing because I’d be able to do all sorts of things without having to worry about getting hurt.

4. Tell me about one of your favorite vacations or trips.
It would have to be the trip Eddie and I took to Pennsylvania for our honeymoon. We got to go white water rafting on the Yougheny River and went to see Fallingwater, which was gorgeous. We also played putt putt on an indoor course that looked like the inside of a cave! How often do you get to do that? :)

5. Name the actor you think most overrated and one who is underrated.
Overrated:
Will Smith. Oh hey look! It’s will smith fighting aliens, or will smith fighting robots! How about will smith busting criminals? I’m not saying I don’t like his movies/think he’s funny, I just feel like he’s playing the same character in every single movie. I hear that he is playing the lead role in the upcoming I Am Legend movie, which makes me slightly skeptical. However, I am willing to give it a fair shot. Hopefully it will not be a dissapointment.

Underrated:
Christian Bale, Edward Norton, and Hugh Jackman. All fabulous actors who have done a wide variety of roles. Did anyone see The Machinist? Christian Bale was practically the size of Nicole Richie in that movie. His level of dedication to each of his roles is amazing, and I really love how he brings each character to life. As for Edward Norton, I think his role in American History X speaks for itself. I recently watched The Fountain, and was extremely impressed with Hugh Jackman's performance, he was fantastic.

Do YOU want to be interviewed?
Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Pirate Party!

2007-07-15T22:03:00.000-04:00

Today was my 26th birthday. So in celebration, I had a pirate themed birthday party last night.

I initially had some anxiety since it was the first time I'd actually ever had a party at my place. But everyone was great, and most came dressed in their best pirate garb bearing treats and tasty beverages.

If you want to see the rest of my pictures, you can check them out on flickr. I'm going to go to bed now, because I am totally exhausted. Planning your own birthday party is alot of work! :)

"Why is the rum always gone?"

Currently listening to: Pixies-"Where Is My Mind?"

So It Goes

2007-07-12T17:44:00.000-04:00

I had to have my other ferret put down today after I got home from work.

Rest in Peace bud. Hope you are happy wherever you are.

2007-07-09T10:01:00.000-04:00

Eddie and I went and saw "Sicko" last night with our neighbors.

I cannot stress how disturbing this movie was. It really is disgusting how low insurance companies will stoop to make a buck. I've always thought this of course, but to see it all smashed into a 2 hour long movie, I'll be honest, there were parts that made me cry. I'm not a huge Michael Moore fan (frankly, I find him a bit annoying) but I really think that this is his best film to date. If you get a chance, you should definitely see it. Like, right now.

Lonesome no more!

2007-07-06T12:10:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how detached we've all become. Anymore, a person can pretty much live most days without seeing another soul. Think about it. You can get movies in the mail, and food delivered to you. There's text messaging and email. Everything has become so automated and impersonal.

The other day I was reading a story on yahoo news about a woman in Wichita Kansas that got stabbed and was bleeding to death in the middle of a convenience store. Do you know what the other people in the store did? They walked over her and kept on shopping! One person even took a picture of her with their cellphone! What the hell is wrong with society? Have we become so desensitized that we don't even care when someone else is suffering? Or dying right before our very eyes? It used to be that people worked towards the betterment of their community. Now they only work toward whatever is the biggest payoff to themselves.

I went to go pick up a squirrel for nature's nursery from an elderly couple last month, and they talked my ears off. The woman told me that she had just turned 65. She told me about her daughter buying her first house in Kentucky. How she met her husband. About being in the service. I decided to listen and let the lady talk. Because she seemed so desperate for human interaction. Just someone to listen to what she had to say about life, and to share her thoughts with.

No matter how isolated you get, you still need people eventually. Sure, they drive you crazy sometimes, but I think everyone is hardwired to need other individuals that can relate to them in some way and share their ideas.

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."

-Kurt Vonnegut

Absente, rug stealing, and chavs.

2007-07-02T14:45:00.000-04:00

So it's been brought to my attention that I need to update. Honestly I've been meaning to post, but I just haven't felt compelled to blog about anything.

That changed this weekend.

My friend A had her annual fourth of july barbeque on Saturday. Her theme of choice was chavs. I had never heard of this term until she sent me the link. I of course dressed up for the occasion.

Sexy, innit?

I have never felt more foolish while out in public. We of course made a run to the local liquor store in all of our chav finery and got many curious glances. While perusing the options available, we came across a box labeled "Absente." According to the label, the only difference is the kind of wormwood used. Instead of the banned grande wormwood, they use a southern wormwood. We of course had to buy some.

One of A's guests was a guy she'd met on the internet. He seemed very nice at first. He brought some wine and a cheese platter and appeared to be getting along famously with everyone. I can't remember his name so I'm just going to call him canada from this point on since that's all I remember about him.

Anyways, Canada was very interested in the Absente. Obsessed more like it. He wouldn't stop bugging us about cracking it open, so we finally decided to try it.

It tasted like Jagermeister and burned like whiskey. You could feel it running down your esophagus and into your stomach. It was also 110 proof, so within moments you feel kind of wobbly. It makes you feel nice afterwards though. And very euphoric.

Canada didn't like how strong it was, so he decided to cut his with a hefty amount of Absolut pear flavored vodka. I don't know why he didn't just add more water to it. That would've made sense. We all headed outside to enjoy the firepit. I'm not really sure when we became aware of it, but it was noticed that Canada kept dissapearing. Turns out he had been secretly drinking the absente while everyone else was outside. Needless to say, within about an hour and half, Canada was becoming very innapropriate in addition to puking/shitting his brains out. He eventually left the party all together without even telling anybody. I don't know how he managed to drive, he could barely even walk.

After everyone left, A, her brother, and I decided we wanted to go bowling. Unfortunately, the bowling alley was closed. So we hit the bars. We got a lot of stank eye from the patrons, probably because we were still wearing our sunglasses even though it was dark, like assholes. I liked wearing them so I didn't have to make eye contact with anyone.

Somewhere between the first bar and the second, we came across some rugs laid out randomly on the sidewalk. One was a runner, the other was a mat. They were squishy and looked like fake granite. A decided that she absolutely had to have one of them. We rolled up the runner and tried carrying it, but it proved to be too heavy for the two of us. So we took the smaller one. We left it outside while we went into the second bar. It was completely empty, so after serving us, the bartender went outside for a smoke. A loudly commented that the bartender had "better not steal my rug!" He laughed and told her that he would guard it for us while we were inside.

We probably carried that thing for about three blocks! At which point we became distracted by a fountain in front of a local catholic church and decided to stop and frolic in it. A's brother also took it upon himself to desecrate the church doors. I jokingly said that the church probably had cameras and we would see it on the news the next day with this headline: "Drunken gentleman teabags local church for no apparent reason." At this point we noticed a couple of police cars driving around, so we decided to drop the rug since we felt it would draw unwanted attention.

We did end up making it home okay, and apparently at some point, A stole someone's potted plant from their front yard. Then we stayed up awhile and watched little britain. So ended our evening of debauchery.

We did drive back the next day to see if the rug was still where we'd left it, and it was. I can't believe we picked it up with our bare hands. Then went home and ate potato chips. *shivers*

Point of this long rambling story? Why, nothing at all! I just needed to update! =)

2007-06-22T14:19:00.000-04:00

It's officially summer!

This means more smoothies, warm evening walks, swimming, and barbeques!

Huzzah!

Here's to you, dad.

2007-06-14T14:01:00.001-04:00

My dad has always been the kind of person I wanted to emulate. He's kind, honest, compassionate, and always thinking of others before himself. Growing up, he always instilled in me the importance of fairness and accepting people for who they are.

I have many fond memories of me and my dad driving around in his car on some barren country road, listening to oldies and classic rock. The summer I turned 16 he taught me how to drive a stick shift, surrounded by fields of soybeans and cows. Those were good times. The overhead "oh shit" handle got a lot of use that summer. (I also suspect that this is when I developed a lead foot.)

During my teenage years, there were moments when I thought I was being particularly crafty pulling the wool over my dad's eyes. One such incident was when he told me that I was not allowed to drive my car to the mall as punishment for a recent speeding ticket (this turned out to be one of many). Later that day he went to work, leaving me and my brother to our own devices. I grabbed my keys, hopped in the "brown beast" as we called it, went to start the car and......

Nothing. Complete and utter silence.

Puzzled, I popped the hood. Upon inspection, my brother and I found that dear old dad had taken preemptive action. Earlier that afternoon, he had removed the battery.

Outfoxed!

Dad-1 Kids-0

He came home from work that night with a slight smile on his face.

You see, my dad loved to play jokes. Every christmas eve, we were allowed to open one present which he picked for us. These were always large and ornately wrapped. After the paper and bows had been stripped away, a box was usually revealed with a picture of a microwave, or vcr. We would look at it in dissapointment and confusion and he'd say "Oh that's just the box I put it in. Keep going! It's really awesome!" or something to that effect. Turns out our presents had been packed similar to those russian nesting dolls that sit inside each other. Many boxes and wrapping paper later, we found ourselves holding our "present" which usually consisted of any one of the following: a stick of gum, a pencil, or a five dollar bill.

He always got such a kick out of that.

And then we got to open our real presents of course.

What I loved about the whole christmas thing was that he still labeled our presents as being "from santa" even though our mom had told us from the get go that there was no such thing as santa claus, and that they bought all the presents.

He tried to keep the imagination alive, you know? One of my art teachers once said: "The problem is that when you're a kid if you color the sky yellow and draw square tires, your teacher tells you 'no! the sky is supposed to be blue! and tires are supposed to be round!' and that's what kills creativity. By the time you become an adult, it's pounded into you what the world is supposed to be like, and people don't know how to use their imaginations anymore."

I've gone off on a tangent now, sorry.

I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks for all the memories dad. You rock!

A great idea

2007-06-10T09:43:00.000-04:00

Me-So I was in the tampon aisle when I saw so and so.

E-Did you buy Tampax Pearls?

Me-Nah, too expensive. I go with the generic ones. They're all the same you know. I don't buy into the gimmicks.

E-What if they made special edition "curse of the black pearl" tampons? Would you buy those?

Me-Hell yeah, that would be awesome! The applicators could be black! With a skull and crossbones on the packaging! Their slogan could be "I've got a pirate in my cootch!"

Hey, it could work.

Anime Hair!! / waiting for the man

2007-05-31T23:26:00.000-04:00

Got highlights yesterday. I went with a bright red, and it is totally kickass. Here's a picture, although it was a bit hard to capture the color properly. It came out best when I took it in the dark with a flash. What can I say? I have too much time on my hands.

A new guy moved into the apartment across the hall from me. Every time he sees or hears a guy within a 10-15 foot radius of our apartments, he runs out and asks "are you scott?" in a very hopeful and excited way. The first time he asked my friend steve, and the second time he asked eddie in the hallway. Obviously he has no idea what this scott guy looks like, or when he's showing up, if ever. Weird. Now it's built up in my mind, and I am curious to see the infamous scott myself. I eye every guy that walks into our building wondering if he's scott. Dammit! Now I'm doing it too!

Two guys showed up to move in yesterday, and it was pretty normal except that one stopped after moving a few items and decided to do a random set of ten push ups in front of my patio door so Becky and I could enjoy his glorious guns.

I also bought Voxtrot's Raised By Wolves EP on itunes, and must say that it is quite fantastic. If you haven't heard them, give them a listen. I command it!

You know what's annoying? Tags on blogger show up in alphabetical order despite what order you type them in. It was originally supposed to say "tag that ass", then "does anyone actually read these?". Now it's not as funny. =(

unsavory and lacking in moral fiber.

2007-05-22T09:22:00.000-04:00

I usually try to avoid posting anything about work here if I can help it, but I am feeling the need to share.

Someone stole vicodin and money from a couple of the clients at work.

WTF?

First off, the money thing makes no sense to me. Most of the clients don't even work so they don't have that much to begin with. For some, their primary source of income is social security. Stealing from them is the equivalent of beating a homeless guy, taking his change cup, and pissing all over him afterwards. It's wrong and completely absurd.

The vicodin got stolen from a little old lady. AN OLD LADY! And not some crotchety old bag either. She is quite possibly one of the sweetest people I have ever met. For shame!

The police are investigating the matter. I just can't believe that someone could resort to that kind of contemptible behavior.

Hey!!! PEPTO MAX!!

2007-05-17T16:18:00.000-04:00

:::For no particular reason, I am now the proud owner of a giant key. I found it while perusing the sad trappings of a local church garage sale and it was just too good to resist. A mere 50 cents has purchased me hours of entertainment. How you say? Well for starters, I immediately presented it to eddie as a sign of Gotham city's appreciation for his recent philanthrophic deeds. Afterwards I imagined the giant it belonged to, what kind of door it would open, and where it would lead.

:::The other day while home alone, I got the Pepto Max jingle stuck in my head. In the bathroom with the fan going full blast, I broke into song only to have eddie come home just as I was screaming "DIIII-AAAA-RHEA!!" at the top of my lungs.

Result? Me running away blushing wildly, and him laughing at me for five minutes straight. It's not something I will be permitted to forget anytime soon. The next time we argue over something silly, his rebuttal will be "DIARRHEA!" and I will be forced to slink away head hanging in shame.

I want a cheeseburger. Stat!

2007-05-14T13:12:00.000-04:00

Hello All! I'm back! Did ya miss me? Did ya, did ya, did ya???

Hey, a girl can dream right?

I'm just glad to feel like I am finally back among the living as opposed to the puffy faced, blank eyed zombie I've been the last 4-5 days. The painkillers made me feel vomitous, and did quite a job on my memory. Anyone around me got treated to the same rambling questions and stories multiple times, I wrote checks which I later forgot about, and who knows what else I did that I no longer remember.

The one thing I did notice was that I had quite a few random and nonsensical dreams. All brought to me in technicolor. Mostly just strange shapes and colors, like a rave in my brain.

Oh, and there were crocodiles.

Wearing trenchcoats and fedoras.

It was pretty weird.

You know you want this in your wardrobe

2007-05-03T10:48:00.000-04:00

The other day when we went shopping, Becky and I found the awesomest shirt ever on the clearance rack, and I just had to try it on.

Pee yellow with blue piping, and pretty much see through. I dubbed it the bananas with pajamas shirt, because it reminded me of them.

A side by side comparison:

As you can see, it was the hotness.

This weekend Eddie and I are going camping at Salt Fork with C and A. The weather is going to be beautiful, so I am hoping that I will get lots of nice pictures.

Monday I am getting 3 of my wisdom teeth pulled so I will be MIA for a little while. My dentist told me that I need 3-4 days off work, and that I will be very swollen and bruised afterwards. So if I don't respond to your comments or emails I'm not ignoring you, I'm just drugged out of my skull. Yeah drugs!

That's all I have for now. Peace out!

F is for freinds who do stuff together....U is for you and meeeee! N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea!

2007-04-25T23:24:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I started doing this list and it made me think of the spongebob f-u-n song.

Anyways, here's 10 things I like and 10 things I don't brought to you by the letter "f" the number 10, and the word Firkin!

1) Firmament-I love stargazing and anything to do with astrology. I don’t take horoscopes seriously, but I love reading literature about the zodiac. For fun I sometimes like to guess people’s signs by their personality and see if I’m right.

2) Fairytales-What can I say? I’m a sucker for the sentimental. I guess I just think it’s romantic.

3) Ferrets-Aww! I love my little guy. How can you resist that face?

4) Films-Absolutely love, love, love watching movies. I especially adore indie, foreign, and (good) anime films. I have an ongoing list of must see movies (there are a lot of older ones I haven’t seen), that my friends and I have compiled and I am slowly working my way through it. Right now I am trying to work on watching some older cult classics such as Plan 9 from Outer Space, Beastmaster, and Mommy Dearest. If anyone has any suggestions for additions to the movie list, let me know!

5) Fiction-I like to read. If I’m not watching a movie, I’m probably reading something. I also mourn the death of good children’s books. Remember The Giving Tree, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, and Where the Wild Things Are? They don’t write books like that anymore.

6) Fauna-Our furry jungle friends bring me much joy. (With the exception of possums and turkey vultures). I also love me some Jeff Corwin. He’s my hero and a cutie to boot!

7) Funnies-Laughing is fun.

8) Fine Arts-Art is something that I've always enjoyed. Photography, drawing, painting, jewelry making, I love it all! Glassblowing is my absolute favorite. I haven't gotten to do any for a couple of years since I stopped taking classes, and man do I miss it! =(

9) Fibonacci Sequence-Numbers are cool?

10) Freedom-Because freedom isn’t free. It costs a buck o five.

Okay, I know those last one’s were pushing it, but this is difficult!

1) Four Way Stops-Why is this hard? You stop at the sign, and then you go in exactly the same order that you stopped in. It’s not rocket science.

2) Fecal Matter-I’ve had to deal with something poop related at least once a week at work for months now.

3) Fashion Fads/Fashion Whores-People that wear ramone’s t-shirts (or any band for that matter) because they’re trendy, not because they love the music need to just fuck off. Same goes for anyone that wears an entire ensemble comprised of nothing but fads.

4) Free Loaders-Nothing is more infuriating than a person that would rather milk the system than put in an honest days work.

5) Fakeness-Say what you will, but we all know that's a fake tan and fake tits. Especially when you're orange, and each breast can act as a seperate flotation device. People that are nice to your face and stab you in the back suck too!

6) Farewells-"I'll see you in another life...when we are both cats"

7) Fools-Those who do stupid things just to do them, or just for the attention get on my nerves. Enrich your minds, asshats!

8) Flies-Seems like they always find you when you are trying to sleep. Horseflies are the worst!

9) Faceplant-I am constantly running into things. So clumsy.

10) Fuel-Let's move along on the alternative fuel sources already! It's ridiculous how long it's taken for us to get to the point we are now. The sooner we become independent from foreign oil, the sooner we can end this pointless war.

Whew! Finally done! I've been compiling this list for days. Kind of sad really. Thanks to MissE and Winter for providing the idea and the letter! =)

2007-04-23T10:53:00.000-04:00

Was watching the discovery channel yesterday and they were doing a special about animals that live in tibet. They did a segment about the wild ass:

"Female ass come and go as they please. They are highly unpredictable."

Now that's funny.

2007-04-20T22:46:00.000-04:00

My mom and I went to the ohanami cherry blossom festival on campus this afternoon, and it was the COOLEST!! They had some really neat demonstrations with people playing traditional Japanese instruments. The first demo was koto,and the second was taiko. Both were really neat, but the taiko was amazing.

There were five really large drums, two medium ones, and four small. The instructor told us that the big drums were handmade on campus in the art department. They cut down wine barrels and stretched hides over them. Is that cool or what?

When they were drumming, you could feel your chest vibrating. I managed to take some pictures with my cell phone, so I apologize if the quality is not that great. Since it costs me 25 cents to email it to myself, I'm only able to post a couple right now. I'll put the rest on flickr once I get them onto a memory card and have access to a card reader.

Other activities included calligraphy, origami, and the ever popular karaoke, but the taiko was by far the most interesting!

"Please, tell me you bought the fucking golf shoes!"

2007-04-16T21:22:00.000-04:00

Eddie and I went to see the aqua teens movie at levis commons this afternoon, and the carpet there never fails to make me feel a little crazy.

2007-04-15T14:00:00.000-04:00

I went to visit my dad a couple weeks ago, and I was pretty excited because he agreed to give me a traditional Korean dress that my mom left at the house when they split up.

Let me just start by saying that this dress is gorgeous. It’s made of red and white silk and has beautiful white peacocks embroidered on it with gold accents. I always loved it as a kid. He warned me on the phone that it was looking a little worse for the wear, because my mom never got a garment bag for it and it had been moved to the top of the closet. Imagine my horror when I found out that not only does it smell like mildew, but has also sustained some pretty extensive water damage.

I’m both bewildered and frustrated by this. Here is this beautiful dress, and my mom just left it there. Not only left it, but apparently didn’t even care enough to try and preserve it in any way. And it’s not just the dress. It’s everything. Photo albums, letters, pieces of her life. Never came back for any of it. It’s so mystifying to me.

And infuriating.

All of my life, I’ve always been missing a half of my family. My mother moved to the states with my dad before I was born, and her family cared so little that only one of her brothers came to the airport to see her off. Years went by without any kind of contact or news. Then when I was in junior high, my mom began writing her aunt in California. This went on for about a year, until one day my mom stopped writing. When I asked why, she said, “I don’t really like writing letters. I’d much rather call on the telephone.”

And that was it. The last tie to her family. Gone. And she didn’t even seem to care.

I’ve always resented her for it. I’ve never told her so, but it makes me angry. It also doesn't help that she's raking my dad over the coals with the whole divorce thing.

So yeah, the dress reminded me of all of this. I’m going to take it to the drycleaners next week, but I don’t know if they’ll be able to fix it. Such a shame. I’m hoping for the best, but will expect the worst, that way I’m not too disappointed.

=(

2007-04-08T14:49:00.000-04:00

Bored. Bored. BORED!

I can't wait to go home after work and nuke some peeps.

That's all.

2007-04-05T10:38:00.000-04:00

Easter is almost here. It’s time for my annual I hate peeps post.

Over glorified marshmallows covered in sugar and cut into cutesy shapes. A simple idea that has spawned an entire demon empire. The other day when I went to the grocery store, I saw peeps baking mitts and plush animals in one of the frozen food isles next to the shoestring potatoes. I don't understand why people are so rabidly devoted to these things. There are fan clubs. Clothing. Gold charms. Wtf?

And get this. One of the ingredients is Carnauba wax. That's right. An ingredient used to make automobile wax, and shoe polish. Oh yeah, and it's used to make candy corn, the other demon spawn candy. Who eats that stuff? Nobody likes it. It's a cheap filler people use when they don't want to buy good candy. And it never goes bad. A good indicator that you probably shouldn't put it in your body. I wonder if it's like chewing gum? Sitting in your intestines like a brick for years?

It's a conspiracy.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I found this awesome video on you tube called "The Easter Bunny Hates You". Enjoy.

Adventures in movie renting

2007-03-29T11:58:00.000-04:00

During my junior and senior year of college, I worked at a video store.

It was quite possibly, the greatest job in the world.

My coworkers were awesome, I got free movie and game rentals, and I could get away with just about anything. If not for the horrid supervisory staff, getting paid minimum wage, and only being scheduled about 15 hours a week, I would’ve been perfectly content to stay there.

But I digress.

One of the great things about this particular store was that it had an adult room. It was located in the very back to the right side. This portion of the store was an endless source of entertainment for us for a number of reasons:

1) We could rent all the porn we wanted.

2) We devised games to entertain ourselves. Example: Ongoing contests to see who could find the funniest porn name. My personal favorite: Weapons of Ass Destruction.

3) Observing people’s methods for entering the porn room. I broke this down into two methods:

The meander-Rentee does a perimeter sweep, pretends to be interested in something on the back wall, looks around quickly and darts in.

The purposeful stride-This guy doesn’t mess around. He walks directly to the room with his head held high as if saying, “I’m here to rent some porn, so suck it!”

The best part of this whole process was checkout. Most times people would look down, or avert their gaze to some distant point behind my head. Some made excuses. Others were just plain creepy. One time I had the pleasure of ringing up a man with quite a large late fee. He demanded to know what the late fees were for.

Me: Sir, I’m sorry, but it says that you have a fifty dollar late fee.
Pornman: What?!? I shouldn’t have a late fee. What’s it for?
Me: Umm….it says you returned three movies three days late.
Pornman: Why is it fucking fifty dollars then? What did I turn in late that’s so damn expensive?
Me: Are you sure you want to know?
Pornman: Fuck yeah! You guys are trying to rip me off!
Me: Okay, if you’re sure…*coughs* Ummm…Naughty Nympho Nurses #2…
Pornman: *turns bright red* Okay, I’ll be back later to pay it. *quickly exits*
Me: Wait! You don’t want to know what the other two titles are?

What an asshole.

If someone was in the adult room for longer than fifteen minutes, we were told that we had to go back and check on them. This made for some awkward moments.

Me: *walks in to put away large stack of porn*
Pornman #2: *turns around quickly, looks guilty* Oh hey! Do you have the Talented Mr. Ripley?
Me: Uh yeah, but you’re not going to find it back here.
Pornman #2: Uh thanks! *runs away*

Those were the days. *sigh*

2007-03-26T12:01:00.000-04:00

I finally got to see Casino Royale yesterday at the dollar theater, and I have to say it was thoroughly awesome. Had to chuckle because the shot of Daniel Craig tied to a metal chair naked actually caused the middle aged woman sitting behind us to gasp and go Oooo!

During the course of the movie, Eddie farted pretty loudly, and I swear it sounded like it came from several rows behind us. It was almost as if he threw his fart like a ventriloquist. I didn’t even realize it was him. I of course giggled like a little kid, realizing later that the people behind us probably thought it was me. Oops.

We got to hang out with C and A all weekend, and to our delight, Pantera Dave made an appearance, which was welcomed since we haven’t seen him in probably about a year. He regaled us with tales of working at the Onion in Chicago and of his new American Idol obsessed cubicle mates. (So glad none of my coworkers are into that nonsense.)

Also, I found myself introduced to this both amusing and disturbing set of home movies.

www.unclegoddamn.com

So overall, weekend was great, weather was great, smoothies abounded, and Julia is a happy girl.

Hands off my hoard, beeyotch!

2007-03-21T21:22:00.000-04:00

I have a problem.

I am a t-shirt addict.

I always tell myself that I'm not going to buy anymore, then I'll check out the threadless website "just for a look", and end up buying two. T-shirts are my equivalent to crack. Last week I got this and this. My stockpile is now somewhere around 50. They even sent me a can cozy (cosy?) with my order. So not only am I wearing an awesome t-shirt as I write this, my beverage is both frosty and delicious. Doesn't get any better than that!

Eddie and I went to the university planetarium last night. It was pretty cool. Hopefully we'll get to go on a night when they have rooftop stargazing. That would be stellar. Unfortunately it's been a bit chilly as of late, so I'm not really up to it right now. I would also like to check out the ice rink because I've never gone ice skating, and it seems like fun. Bruise filled for sure, but fun.

I made a collage! At first I thought it needed a little something more, but now in retrospect I think I like it just the way it is.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Sorry it's not that exciting.

Currently listening to: Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

When I was a kid

2007-03-15T10:33:00.000-04:00

Saw this on steph's blog and thought it was neat.

-My mom took me on the bumper cars and forgot to strap me in. When someone bumped us, I flew out of the car face first. I now have a scar on the left side of my nose by my nostril.

-I had a crush on Christopher Reeve. Correction: I had a crush on Superman.

-I performed “Can’t Touch This” in my elementary school talent show.

-I wanted to be a vet more than anything in the world.

-While flying a kite in the park, I ran face first into an evergreen tree. I got covered in sap and had a huge welt on my forehead. (Starting to see a pattern here?)

-I barfed on my second grade teacher because it was my first day at a new school and I was nervous.

-I wished I could have blonde hair and blue eyes, just so I would look like everyone else.

-I was short stop on my school’s tee ball team. When we graduated to softball, the pitcher busted my lip with the ball the first time I went up to bat. I promptly quit the team and was deathly afraid to play again until several years later.

-I would bite my classmates when they picked on me.

-I never got to go trick or treating because my mother wouldn’t allow it.

Also, winter and I have started a new blog on which to post our stories and other miscellaneous work. You can check it out here. I have posted a short story called "strangers".

Jumping up and down, practically wetting myself with excitement.

2007-03-08T09:07:00.000-05:00

We are going to the 2007 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival! Here's the lineup. It is going to be beyond awesome!! *energetic fist pump*

Today is Eddie's birthday, so I bought him one of those musical hallmark cards. It plays the star wars theme when you open it. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he does, he is gonna love it. Sometime this afternoon, I must buy some cake mix. One of the clients loves to cook, so I'm going to have her help me make it. Is that cheating? It will still be made with love, and just a sprinkle of crazy.

The other day while walking to work, I noticed a black lab mix running in the street darting between cars. His owner had been walking him in the park, and he had managed to get away. The poor guy was trying to catch him, but wasn't having much luck due to the icy sidewalks and a very apparent limp. After a couple minutes of cajoling, I got the dog to come to me and grabbed his collar. The guy was visibly shaken and on the verge of tears when he caught up to us. I felt for him. My dog used to run away every chance he got, and the only way I ever caught him was when he would inevitably stop to take a shit. Must have been all that freedom.

Helping that guy made my morning. It made me feel really good that I'd helped someone. But then it made me wonder: do we help people to be altruistic, or because it makes us feel better about ourselves?

2007-03-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

Well between Gore and the Aliens, global warming hasn't got a chance.

Can you imagine if the government actually acknowledged that aliens had in fact landed on Earth? The foil hats would go crazy! Eddie loves to listen to coast to coast AM, and the calls they get on that show are wild. People claiming to be time travelers, alien abductees, etc etc. I even found a link about a time traveler convention. (The best part is the FAQ segment).

Eddie once tried to convince me that Coast to Coast was a valid news source. Myself? I just can't believe the things they say on there until I see them somewhere a little more mainstream.

There's a theory that the footage shown of the moon landing was filmed in a sound stage. Kind of interesting. Some people believe that there were alien life forms on the moon that the government didn't want us to know about, or that it never even happened in the first place.

I've noticed lately that I have this strange tick. Certain noises drive me crazy. The other day I was watching one of those sharpie commercials, and the sound of the sharpie on paper put my teeth on edge. It's even worse if it's cardboard. Another sound that drives me absolutely nuts is when pieces of Styrofoam get rubbed together. Argh! If anyone ever wanted to torture me into giving them information, all they'd need is a marker, some cardboard, and Styrofoam. Just thinking about it makes me all twitchy.

Oscar Party!

2007-02-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

A had her annual oscar party this Sunday. Even though I had only seen 8 of the nominated films, it was still a lot of fun. Here are some pictures:

Dr. Zaius looking embarrassed in his hobo hat

The awesome cake I made nate

Sorry, no pictures of me because my hair seems to be trying to reach john mayer-like proportions.

A few gripes about the awards show:
What was with the dresses? Bows are never fashionable. They are ugly and stupid. Don't wear them. EVER.

Every other shot was of Jack Nicholson. If I never see his gross bald head again, it will be too soon. He looked like a cancer patient. I wish he would've done something funny, like pick his nose or something. That would've at least been entertaining.

Al Gore. As an environmentalist, I'm glad he's doing something for the movement, but shut the hell up. You are not the only person trying to make a difference. That "my fellow americans" joke ceased to be funny the first time you said it. Unless you are going to say "I'm being seer-ee-ous!" a la south park, I don't care.

On the other hand, I was glad to see Martin Scorsese finally get an oscar. Score!

A vignette from my life.

2007-02-21T09:17:00.000-05:00

This entry will be a random cornucopia of things.

1)I bought the new Shins album. Looooove it! If anyone wants a listen come on over! Or I can rip you a copy. Or you can just ride in my car since it has been in heavy rotation ever since I got it. It also came with a very cool sticker. Neato!

2)I am super stoked to see the Prestige. Blockbuster sent me an email this morning that it is on its way. I really liked the Illusionist, and my friends have told me that the Prestige is like, infinity times better. I dig magic, so I'm excited. Not the cheesy my cane just turned into a bunch of cheap nylon cotton blend flowers, more like the stuff that David Blaine used to do. Also, two words as to why I will enjoy this movie. Christian Bale. Mmmm!

3)Went with my friend to a doctors appointment the other day, then to eat dinner, and pick up her prescription. Hilarity ensued.

When writing the prescription, the doc ominously told her that she needed to be near a toilet, or if possible, take it while on the toilet because she might not make it. So we dropped off the prescription and went to dinner, completely forgetting all about it. Afterwards, we returned to the pharmacy via the drive through. The pharmacist came back with a rather large package, roughly as big as an economy sized tampon box. It was wrapped in a plastic bag which I guess was for privacy, but the text on the side could clearly be seen. It said "Bowel Prep Kit". My poor friend was horribly embarrassed, and me, being the bad friend that I am began promptly laughing my ass off.

Me: "I feel like I know you so much better now. So glad I could share in this excruciatingly embarrassing moment with you."

Friend: "shut up, bitch!" *Blushes madly*

Me: "Hey! this comes in three delicious new flavors! cherry, lemon, and orange! I would pick the cherry personally. "

20 something Pharmacy guy: "So...Uh...do you have any questions about this?" *looks away uncomfortably*

Friend: "No!" *peels out*

Heeheehee. That story will get retold over an over again. Now, whenever she starts teasing me or being a smart ass, I'll be like "Bowel Prep Kit!" and she will be stunned into silence.

Ahh. The joys of friendship.

4)It was recently noted that the local billy bar whiskey dick's is now closed. The owner, in efforts to purge his bar of its previous unsavory reputation is moving to a new location on main street, which currently remains unnamed.

Some of my ideas for a new name:
Amaretto Titties
Captain Cameltoe
Tequila Testicles

Just a thought.

5) I put a bunch of new photos on flickr. If they seem really unorganized, it's because I can't figure out how to change the dates to put them in order. Mostly, I just don't feel like messing with it anymore. I've got some pictures of artwork I did in college, and animals at the wildlife rehabilitation center I volunteer at. I've put a link in my sidebar. Enjoy!

There's a fuck ton of snow outside.

2007-02-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

And I had to work this morning. It was awesome to say the least. At 6:30 a.m, my boss called to inform me that our county was at a level three snow emergency. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this system, it means that roads are closed to all non essential personnel, and anyone found driving is subject to citation or arrest.

For most, this means a snow day. No work or school, just hanging at the homestead without a care in the world. This is not the case for me. I must strap on the snowshoes, don my furry hat, and suck it up. Because according to agency policy, if we find ourselves due to work during a level three, we must call the police department for transportation. Lovely.

So we call the boys in blue. And you know what they said? It was okay for us to drive to work. We had special permission. We were told to try to get to work on our own, and if that wasn't possible, then we should call for their services because they had other far more important things to attend to.

Now maybe it's selfish of me, but I was pissed. Attending to what? No one is driving. Every place is closed, so no one is out except for the guys with the snow plows. And a few strange looking vagrants. But they're always around. Personally, I think they just didn't want to deal with any of it. And to be fair, who would? But it's your fucking job. I didn't want to go to work this morning, but I'm here. Thanks for serving and protecting me, assholes. Anyone who lives in the college ghetto portion of town knows that nothing get plowed over here. Especially apartment building parking lots. Because what are a bunch of college kids gonna do? Bitch to their parents and their friends? Or like me, write an entire tirade about it on their blog, which 4.5 people read?

So I go to start my car. A snow drift half my size has collected in fr0nt of the apartment building door, and I have to wade through that first to even get to it. Fortunately, I'm parked in a spot that hasn't amassed very much snow, so I'm good there. I survey the parking lot. It comes to my attention that not only are there huge drifts blocking both entrances of the lot, but that I am also poorly prepared. The initial plan to use kitty litter under my tires has been foiled, because of course as fate would have it, I'm all out.

Within minutes of trying to leave, I'm stuck. Armed with only the kitty litter scoop to help me. The time is 7:30. I am supposed to be at work in 30 minutes. Cursing, I try digging out the snow around my tires with the scoop. This is much like trying to shovel with a spoon. After about 5 minutes of this, and much kicking of snow, I throw in the towel and wake eddie up. He's very pleased about this. A half hour later, after much pushing and swearing, I am finally out of the lot.

The rest of my trip to work was uneventful. Thankfully the person who worked before me had the brains to shovel the sidewalks and drive, so I had no issues with getting stuck again. I'm hoping that by the time I get off work, the lot at our apartment has been plowed, or I will be very angry. Maybe even angry enough to post about it again, lucky you! I took a few pictures, but I'll have to wait until I get home to load them onto my computer.